DailyHappyLiving.com

gopimenon June 10th, 2010

I feel that the essence of Happy Living is to do everything in balance.

Whether it is material, intellectual or spiritual pursuits it is essential that we don’t overdo or ‘under-do’ any one thing.   Sayings such as ‘the happy mean’, the ‘mid-path’ and so on, all refer to balanced living.

Repression is just as bad as over-indulgence. It is often said that ‘too much of  a good thing is bad’, but we sometimes tend to forget that ‘too little of a good thing’ is also bad!

We are well aware of the problems of over-indulgence and repression when it comes to food – obesity, anorexia and bulimia!

It is absolutely fine to enjoy your food but eating too much leads to obesity and its associated problems of ill-health.   Despite the cliche of the ‘jolly rotund man’, obesity does not make for happy living.

Similarly eating too little (excessive fasting) or avoiding good food leads to emaciation and in the worst case scenario – eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia!

The same logic applies to work and play situations.  ‘All work and no play’ leads to stress and frustration with all the accompanying ills.   Some people in this category end up in hospital with heart attacks, while others need psychiatric help for mental depression.   If only they had balanced their work, with vacations and time for the family and friends, then such problems could have been avoided.

Similarly ‘all play and no work’ leads to boredom which is just as problematic.  Some resort to life threatening sports to compensate for their boredom while others even consider suicide as a solution!  All for lack of balance in their lives!

This principle of ‘balance’ applies even to so-called selfless actions such as community service, charity work and so on.  Too much of ‘selfless service’ without any thought for personal needs is just as bad as being selfish and over-indulgent!  There must be a balance between the needs of the body, the mind and the spirit! Overdoing any one to the detriment of the other does not make for Happy Living.

Repressing our sex instincts (e.g. catholic priests) is just as bad as over-indulging (e.g. Tiger Woods) etc.  A little wine is good … too much may give you a hangover!…

All these problems (bulimia, stress, depression, sex-addiction, alcoholism, anorexia, obesity, etc.) come about because of a lack of balance in our lives.   The main culprit for these imbalances are the ‘false teachings’ and religious doctrines that seem to control all of our lives.

So called learned figures claim they know what we should do and what we should refrain from doing and even the amounts and ratio…. But the truth is God knows better and He has programmed us far better to do the right things (if only we have faith in our own intuition ..

We are too afraid to question these ‘questionable teachings’ because they have been given an aura of  ‘sacredness’!

We are afraid to use our God given will power and intellect in choosing the best possible ways to live – so that Happy Living can truly become a way of life.  Instead we always give in to those so-called ‘gurus’ or prophets who claim to know everything – the past, present & the future.  But the only one who knows all the past, all the present and all the future is God – not any man who claims himself to be a specially chosen one of God!

To be continued…

• happiness , happy living , pursuit of happiness , unhappiness
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gopimenon March 20th, 2010

Several years ago I had already realized that nursing a hatred towards an individual for his actions towards me was counter-productive to my happiness! I have written about this in this blog under Happy Living Tip # 6 – How to Forgive Someone.

However, it is only recently I realized that I am still nursing another form of hate, which is not directed at an individual! I am talking about the pet hates that each one of us has – that seem justifiable!  Because of this ‘mantle of respectability’ we have given to hate, all of us (without exception) have pet hates and peeves!  Worse still, we are even proud of our hatreds and express them loudly and passionately!

Some of us hate Politics and Politicians, some hate Lawyers, some hate Injustice, some hate Religious zealots, some hate Immigrants of other Races, and so on!  Furthermore, we believe that it is right to do so. We rationalize and justify our hatred by saying things like: ‘it is right to hate wrong’, ‘it is right to hate evil’, ‘it is right to hate injustice’ and so on.

However I have now come to realize that nursing ANY form of hatred (even seemingly justifiable hatred) is a sure way to being Unhappy!

It is strange that it took me so long to come to this realization, since I espouse Happy Living in this blog.   The reason why it took me so long to recognize that ‘Hate is NOT a component of Happy Living’ is because I had learned to give credence and some form of respectability to ‘hate’ as a necessary emotion under certain conditions!

We have all been taught that it is right to hate injustice, to hate evil, to hate child abuse and so on. We have concluded that it is right to do so and that we are doing some good by hating evil!

Personally I have always hated ‘child abuse’, ‘rape’, ‘injustice’, ‘unfairness’, ‘abuse of power’,’ bullying’, ‘road hogs’ etc.   I justified my doing so saying that I was right to hate these things!  However, being right did not make me any happier!

Every time I thought of an injustice – e.g. child abuse or rapists,  it only made me think of taking violent revenge on the perpetrators.  I wished that the law would treat them more harshly, even torture them as punishment – ‘an eye for an eye’?

Thus my mind would be filled with such negative thoughts and images and the emotions I generated were ones of rage, vengeance, etc.  The end result of nursing such thoughts and emotions within me was that I felt miserable and physically sick!

Only recently did I realize that allowing myself to indulge in such thoughts was one of the main reasons for my unhappiness and poor health! It was counter-productive to the happy living which I try to promote.

So I have decided to refrain from reading about, talking about or thinking about such things (as far as humanly possible); although at times the urge to indulge in condemnation of some faction or group is so difficult!  Looks like I’ll have to bite my tongue each time I feel like going off on a pet rant!

Anatomy of Hate

Whatever it is that we hate (whether it is justified or not), the emotions created by hate is NOT one of happiness!  We may feel ‘pleased’ that ‘the perpetrator got his just deserts”, ‘vengeance is done’ etc. but it does not create a ‘feel good’ emotion.

Simply put, “Hate does NOT generate good feelings!” When we hate someone or something, the feelings that arise is our mind are those of anger, revulsion, revenge, etc.   And none of these are feel-good emotions!

As an example, just think of a toddler you love - immediately you get a warm good feeling, a smile comes to your face automatically when you imagine the child’s antics and you feel good.   Now think of someone or something you hate – what feelings engulf you?  Are they feel-good emotions?  Or are they emotions that make you feel upset?

Of course you will find that in every instance, the feelings generated by hate is one of hurt, anger, revenge, etc. – unhappy emotions, not happy ones.

So let us stop being proud of our pet hates and stop expressing them passionately at the slightest provocation, to anyone who will listen! Also let us be aware when we are holding on to ‘hate thoughts’ in our mind and just let them go. By choosing to replace the ‘hate thoughts’ with ‘loving thoughts’ instead we can indeed create Happy Living as a reality!

• happiness , happy living , unhappiness
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gopimenon February 28th, 2010

Hi There,

Today’s post is all about how I had to really use most of the Happy Living Tips from this blog to stay happy in spite of circumstances!  It also explains why I was unable to add any new post in the past 3 weeks.

The past three weeks have been really ‘eventful’ – not necessarily in the best possible way!   Here’s a little breakdown of all the little ‘challenges’ (better word than ‘problems’) that came up – in no chronological order:

1. My computer crashed!   It chose the worst time of the year to do so – during the Chinese New Year festival!  In Malaysia that means for at least one week there will be NO computer shops open to carry out repairs on my Laptop Computer.   Hence no Internet access, no updating of blogs, no emails, no online marketing campaigns!
2. My health crashed! I was down with a flu whole of last week – just recovered but still have congested chest and coughing spasms.
3. My 6 year old car with manual transmission – the clutch started slipping whenever I changed gears!  Have to replace the clutch pad and the seals – can cost several hundred Ringgit!

In addition there was some bereavement issues to deal with:

• My brother-in-law passed away on Valentines day.
• A wonderful couple – close friends of mine, lost their son to cancer – the boy was only 15!

So how and what exactly did I do to keep my Daily Happy Living principles intact?

First the bereavement issues:

Untimely Death:  I can only imagine how devastated my friends would be at the loss of their son at such an early age.   So now their family of four is down to just three – one daughter.  But I admire how they cope with their loss!

When I arrived at the church in Kuala Lumpur for the funeral, I was surprised to see an unexpectedly large number of cars parked in the compound.  I went to the main building and a wedding was in progress!  I asked about the boy’s funeral and I was told that it would be held at a small chapel at the back.   Talk about ‘how life does go on!’  A wedding in front, a funeral at the back!

I went to the chapel and I was impressed that my friends had put up a large ‘happy’ montage of photos on a wall.  This showed all the good times they had with their son – the picnics, the holidays, the brother-sister relationships,  places they had visited as a family etc.  Unlike most funerals where they would just be mourning,  here they wanted to celebrate their son’s life – for the joy he had given them in his short span of 15 years on earth.

I paid my condolences to the Father and the Daughter who were present.  I asked about the Mother, thinking that she must have been too distraught to be there to receive the visitors, but was told that she was busy writing the eulogy for the ceremony! Imagine that!  But this couple have always been special – from the time I met them about 7 years ago as my sponsors in a nutrition company, they have always showed a rare kind of steadfastness and strength.

Continue Reading »

• bereavement , happy living , unhappiness
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gopimenon February 4th, 2010

Hi There,

When I talk of ‘The Cinderella Complex’ as it pertains to Happy Living, I am NOT referring to that which was described by Colette Dowling -  who wrote a book on women’s fear of independence, as an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others, based primarily on a fear of being independent.

Neither am I referring to ‘Cinderella’s Syndrome’ as first named by Dr. Peter K. Lewin in 1976, in a letter to the editor of Canadian Medical Association Journal.  It describes false accusation by adopted children of being mistreated or neglected by their adoptive mothers.

The above are referring to individual cases.  However,  I am talking about the whole world  suffering from a set of beliefs that I call ‘Cinderella Complex’ for reasons that will become clear in this post.

In the fairy tale of Cinderella, we are told of a ‘good’ person (Cinderella) suffering unjustly but patiently from the wicked Stepmother and her daughters.  Her only help is from a Fairy Godmother who helps her go to the ball and find her a Prince Charming who then finally sets her free and they live happily ever after!

Just analyze some of the beliefs that we are fostering on our children with that tale:

• The good people have to Suffer with Patience and Forbearance whatever injustice they are forced to endure.  (Therefore expect to suffer if you are a good person!)
• They do NOT have any power to help themselves – they have to wait for an external Savior (Fairy Godmother) or a Hero (Prince Charming) to save them.
• The world is separated into 2 clear cut Parts – Evil & Good (with no gray areas in between).

These are the same kind of beliefs that all human beings are taught as children – by our parents, our school teachers and our religious teachers, by our movies and books etc.

• We are powerless as human beings in this world – we are at the mercy of Fate, the Devil, and other Evildoers
• All we can do is pray for a savior or a hero to help us – and if we pray hard enough and suffer long enough, the hero or savior will appear and save us from our troubles!

But how true are these beliefs?  How many cases do we know of ‘good’ people being saved from their ‘suffering’ by the appearance of a savior?

In real life, it is we ourselves who have the power to alter our ‘fate’ and design our own destiny!  This is what all the success stories of the world shows – the rags to riches stories (there was never any Fairy Godmother) who magically lifted them out of poverty!

The struggling inventors, writers, poets, painters, entrepreneurs etc all achieved their successes by their own belief in their dreams and the hard work they put in, and their persistence.   Sometimes the Universe helped them by ‘synchronistic’ events that were actually brought about by their own diligence and strong belief in success!  But by and large, there was NO White Knights to slay the dragons and save them!

Unfortunately, since we are all brainwashed into accepting the ‘Cinderella Complex’ from early age, most of us find it difficult to break away from such negative and self defeating beliefs!  Many of us still cry out in prayer, do fasts & penances, give offerings etc in the hope that we can bribe or extort some help from the Gods!

We fail to realize that the Creator has already given us the power to design our own lives;  we don’t have to stoop to try and appease or please God in all the silly ways we have been taught to do!

The Creator would be well pleased with us if only we were to exploit fully the talents that we have been born with – by ‘not hiding our light under the bushel’!  To do that we must become aware of what it is that we truly desire to do with our lives and then go for it confidently!

The unchanging and neutral Laws of the Universe and the Laws of Mind will provide the synchronicity required to ensure that we succeed.  All we need is to understand some of these basic principles (see World According to Gopi & Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen – Part 2)

Unfortunately, this idea of a special Hero with super-powers has been around for ages (e.g. Samson, Ulysses, Hercules etc.) and is even now being echoed in the Movies! A whole village is under the control of an evil leader and only the appearance of a hero from outside can help to overcome the villain!

This is true for both Western movies (think ‘Magnificent Seven’, ‘Shane’, Zorro, etc. etc.) as well as Eastern movies.  The vast majority of Indian movies exploit this theme to the nth degree – one unarmed ‘super hero’ overcomes dozens of gangsters while hundreds of villagers watch!  I used to wonder “Why doesn’t any of the hundreds of onlookers do something when atrocities are being committed by a dozen thugs?”  If only they were to take concerted action together, they could easily end the suffering and the humiliation!  Instead they stand around just looking (even when the one hero is fighting tremendous odds) – because they all suffer from the Cinderella Complex!

Like the case of a baby elephant which is tethered with a strong rope or chain and finding itself unable to break free, finally decides that it CANNOT break free, so that even when it is grown to be a 3 ton giant, it can still be held in place by a small chain.   Because it has forgotten its own powers.  So too the men and women suffering from the Cinderella Complex have forgotten or given up their own powers and now prefer to remain at the mercy of others!

Thus let us remember that the Cinderella Story is just that – a fairy tale and is NOT representative of real life!   If we want to experience a happy life, we should just go out and create it for ourselves, believing that we do have the power to do so!   Let us not wait for a White Knight, a Hero or a Fairy Godmother to alter our lives for the better.

Expect Happiness!

• happiness , happy living , unhappiness
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gopimenon January 4th, 2010

Hi There,

Today I would like to follow-up on last week’s topic ‘Not Putting Labels on People’ – which was all about learning to have ‘empathy’ for others.   Empathy is not the same as ‘sympathy’ which merely means to feel sorry for others!  Empathy means to be able to feel what others feel – to put ourselves in their position.

We can find many proverbs and sayings on various aspects of this subject ‘empathy’ such as:

• “Don’t judge a person until you walk a mile in the other person’s shoes!” – i.e.  See things from the other person’s perspective.
• “I was blue because I had no shoes, until I met a man on the street who had no feet!” - Learn to be grateful for what we have.
• “Live and let live!” – Live well but at the same time ensure that you let others live well too because they too are humans and deserve it!  (Unfortunately some people follow the adage ‘Live & Let Die!‘ thereby causing untold misery to others and to themselves too.)
• Etc.

But the phrase that has always struck a chord within me is one from the Bible which goes like this:

• “There, but for the Grace of God, Go I!”

It talks to me most strongly about ‘empathy’ – the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s situation.   But it is much more than that.  It also speaks to me of gratitude and humility.  In case you are not aware of what this phrase means, let me elaborate.

What it means to me is simply this:

If I see say a beggar, or a blind man, or a cripple on the street, I realize that if circumstances had been different, perhaps I could have been in their shoes!  Thus if I am sighted, able-bodied, and in a comfortable position financially now, it is merely because of the grace of God that I am not in the other’s plight.   Realizing this makes me exceedingly grateful and humble!  It also helps me to be kind to the other!

The other person need not be physically challenged for me to apply this phrase.  Even if I see a waiter, or a cleaner or a maid, I can still think about this and be grateful because I know that I could have been in their situation, but for Divine grace.  So I am always courteous to them – because I know they too are human, just like me and should not be treated as less than human!

Whenever I hear of people in positions of power, mistreating those less fortunate, I think about this phrase. If only these people would realize the true meaning of this phrase, they would not mistreat or condemn or judge others as they do now!

Unfortunately, I see many people going about acting boorishly  everywhere (in a restaurant, in the office, on the road, at home, etc.);  they look down upon others and treat them badly – without common courtesy.

Many people are arrogant about their position, their wealth or their health, not realizing that any of these could be taken from them in the blink of an eye – by an accident, by disease, by criminals etc.

In fact if you look at what happened in 2009 – some of those sacrosanct institutions (such as banks, insurance, huge conglomerates etc.) just went bust overnight!   Millions lost their means of livelihood, many lost their homes, and so on.

So now what happens to their arrogance and pride?   Who do they go to for help?  To those whom they have antagonized by their selfish, inconsiderate behavior?  On what grounds?

That is why we should realize that when we are in a comfortable position, we should be KIND to those in less fortunate positions! It is also the way to be happy in our relationship with others! If we continue to ‘distribute’ misery to others, how can we expect to remain happy?

This is why I place so much emphasis on this phrase as a means to Happy Living. Please remember: “There, but for the Grace of God, Go I!”

Expect Happiness!

• gratitude , happiness , happy living , unhappiness
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gopimenon December 9th, 2009

In my last post I related the true story of the ‘Marriage Woes of Meena & Sham’.  I ended up asking if their marriage could survive?  Today we continue with the story!

The Marriage Woes of Sham & Meena (contd.)

One day, while Sham was listening to a meditation tape, he had an epiphany:

If I refuse to change my own perceptions, even if I were to get divorced and remarry, the problem would still be there.   Because it all begins with my own lack of acceptance that my spouse can have a different set of beliefs.

Sham finally decided that if there was to be any change in the relationship, it had to come from him!  Initially he had been reluctant to do so because he believed in ‘equality’ in a marraige!  His reasoning was:  “Why should I alone make the change?  Doesn’t it take two hands to clap?  Isn’t marriage supposed to be a partnership?  Why should I be the one to give in all the time?  Etc.”

Finally, he realized that it was not a contest of who was right but an attempt to make a relationship work.  He found that  it was NOT necessary for both the people in a relationship to make a change at the same time!  Even if he alone were to begin to make changes in himself, then the relationship could be salvaged.  And between himself and Meena, he was the better candidate for change since he read a lot, thought a lot and was interested in change!

So he started with learning to truly accept himself with all his weaknesses and strengths.   He did the mirror exercise regularly and began to truly love himself as an individual, unique human being.

When he could truly love himself, he realized that he could love Meena too (without being judgmental).  He began to look for the good that Meena did, instead of what she failed to do!  Thus he was able to find many things he had been taking for granted and not showing appreciation for.

E.g.  When his younger colleagues at the office kept getting calls from their wives regarding problems at home, he realized that never had Meena called him at the office to complain about anything.   He could even go away on business trips for a couple of days without any worry, unlike his colleagues who kept getting constant calls from their homes.   Meena cooked well, looked after their 3 active sons, and kept the house spic and span, without any complaints – all without a maid!

Once he began to appreciate what was good about Meena, Sham stopped criticizing her for every little thing!  He could then truly love her for being herself!

This was a great relief for Meena (it took away the tension she felt of always being judged) and so she reciprocated.  She began to feel that Sham really cared for her and so she was more affectionate and loving too.

Fast forward many years to the present! Sham and Meena have now been married for over 35 years, have 3 sons and grandchildren and they are both really happy in their marriage – which even their sons had expected to go on the rocks!

What was the secret that saved their marriage, in spite of the myriad problems? Continue Reading »

• happiness , happy living , marriage , self acceptance , unhappiness
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gopimenon November 21st, 2009

For the past several months, I have been sharing the philosophy that each one of us can make Happiness a Habit – by remaining aware of our feelings at all times and by controlling our thoughts, thus activating happy feelings!

So by now you regular readers know that you can make happy living a reality in spite of the circumstances, environment or other people.

That in itself is already a great achievement, since the majority of the people in this world are still struggling with the idea that ‘their happiness is based on outer circumstances and other people’ and not on their own choice.  They keep complaining about external things like:

• he/she makes me angry,
• my spouse doesn’t understand me,
• that road-hog makes me lose my temper,
• my boss makes me sick,
• the loss of a dear one makes me depressed,
• etc. etc.

They have not yet realized that it is always a choice they themselves make as to whether to get angry, or upset or sad or miserable.

But you, dear readers have already learnt that ‘no matter what the event, or circumstance; how we respond (not react) is always our own choice!’ You have learned to make happiness a habit!

While that is a great first step to happy living, there is a problem associated with ‘being habitually happy’ – namely, the lack of motivation to achieve!  I explored this idea a little in an earlier post ‘The Problem With Being Happy‘.  When we are habitually happy, we feel calm and at ease and lazy in a nice way and have no motivation to do anything much!

So how does a habitually happy person, get motivated to achieve anything new or exciting?

That is the subject of the Second Phase in Daily Happy Living – How to Increase Your Happiness!

Anyone can increase his/her happiness by using what I call ‘Happiness Enhancers’.

As explained in the above mentioned post,  Happiness Enhancers are anything that add to or increase our present state of happiness.

Examples of Happiness Enhancers are:

1. Having a Major Purpose in Life
2. Setting and Achieving Goals
3. Building Wealth
4. Building Health and Fitness
5. Having a Hobby (physical – such as tennis, football etc. or mental – such as chess, crossword, sudoku etc.)
6. Being Entertained by Others (music, novels, operas, dramas, movies, TV etc)
7. By Entertaining Others
8. & Many, Many More ….

But one of the best ways to increase your happiness is to find our your passion (purpose) and go after it with your whole heart and soul, expecting to succeed in your venture.  Remember my saying “Man Proposes, God Endorses!”   Because that is the truth!

The Creator would have to be stupid to first give you a passion or purpose or talent and then try to make sure you fail!  If ‘Man Proposes, God Disposes’ is true; what hope is there for mankind?  What can we puny humans do against the might of the Creator?  We are bound to fail!

Hence, know for certain that if God has given us a special talent or passion or purpose, it is for us to work on it, to excel at it and thus provide the world with the fruits of our special talent!  The Creator is not a sadistic dictator finding pleasure at our failures and our misery.  If we think of God as a parent, then we know that the Creator finds joy in each of us exploiting our talents to the fullest and achieving incredible goals and not in ensuring that we fail!

In my next post we will discuss this vital point on Purpose & Motivation which can lead to increased happiness.

To be continued….

• Motivation , happiness , happy living , unhappiness
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gopimenon October 22nd, 2009

It’s been some time since I posted another Happy Living Tip.   So for today I am giving another important tip on happy living.  This has to do with ‘forgiveness’, specifically on the practical aspects of forgiving.  So here is Happy Living Tip #6.

__________________________________________________________________________

Happy Living Tip # 6: How to Forgive Someone!

We always hear people tell us that it is good to forgive, ‘to forgive is divine’ etc. but seldom are there any specific details on ‘how to forgive’.   That is what this tip is all about.  We will explore the practical aspects of forgiving others.

To do this I have separated the people to be forgiven into 2 categories; namely ‘Strangers & Acquaintances’ and ‘Family and Close Friends’.  These are described below.

___________________________________________________________________

Forgiving Strangers & Acquaintances:

The first thing to realize about forgiveness is that you are NOT doing it for the other person, but for yourself!   Because the feelings of anger, shame & hurt when you think about the perceived injury to your ego or self-esteem, is all within your own mind!  

And you continue to feel insulted or shamed and get angry when you continue to dwell on the ‘injury’ in your own mind.   Externally there may be nothing to show for the hurt you feel – the person who caused it may be gone for good or you may not meet him/her again.

If you have been following this blog for some time, you already know that your mind is completely under your own control – you can choose what thoughts you allow to stay or change those thoughts as you like! 

So how does it benefit you to keep thinking of the perceived injury again and again?  You are only hurting yourself repeatedly by your continuing resentment.  By continuing to think of tit-for-tat or revenge to get back at the person involved, you are only poisoning your own physical system!

The excess adrenaline rush is in your body, the hormonal imbalance is in your body, the side effects of these are also going to show up in your own body and mind!  You are not affecting the other person in any way at all.Once you realize this,  it is easy to forgive the other person.   Because by the act of forgiving, the one you help is yourself and not the other!

Also the forgiving act you do is in your own mind!  You do not have to go up to the other person and say ‘I forgive you’ or anything like that.   Just say inside your own mind: ‘bless you, have a good life’ or something like that,  and close the book on the incident!

Here is a test to know if you have really forgiven: If you hear the other person’s name mentioned and your mind does not immediately go back to that incident; if it does not affect you one way or another – then you have truly forgiven!   

If you can think about that person without feeling upset or hurt or envy, then you have truly forgiven!  On the other hand if you carry with you any vestiges of the perceived injury, then the very mention of the person’s name will bring about renewed feelings of upset and anger.

NOTE: For a first hand example of how I managed to learn to forgive and forget,  read my post “How I Overcame Road Rage!”

In my next post I will discuss the more difficult problem of ‘Forgiving Family & Friends’!

As always Expect Happiness!

Gopinathan

• anger , happiness , happy living , law of mind , unhappiness
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gopimenon September 29th, 2009

I have been sharing several ideas, beliefs and tips on happy living the past several months.  Today I would like to lay out a set of daily actions to be done in order to make Happy Living a reality for you!

To help you work out your own set of daily actions for Daily Happy Living, I would like to share my Daily Routine.  Starting from when I first wake up these are the normal actions I undertake each day:

1. Immediately on waking up, while still lying in bed, I become aware of how I feel,  because it is not everyday that I wake up feeling happy and enthusiastic.   This could be due to a lot of reasons – interrupted sleep, waking up suddenly during the middle of my dream cycle, insufficient rest,  etc. 

   On those days if I feel a little down I immediately carry out this self-talk:  “Why am I feeling down?  What are the thoughts I am entertaining right now?  What thoughts will put me in a better frame of mind?  Who is in control of my mind?” 

   Then, because I know that I can CHOOSE what thoughts I allow to dwell in my mind, I begin to ‘change channels’ or ‘flip switch’  i.e. I purposely change my thoughts to those that give me feelings of joy and peace! 

   Thoughts of my grandchildren and their cute behavior or even of my children when they were  toddlers (e.g. see Evian Roller Babies video on this page), or some dream I want to achieve, or an event that gave me a lot of pleasure and so on.  Thus when I do get up off the bed I am already in a happy frame of mind.

2. Next I do my ‘mirror exercise’ – look at myself in the mirror and really love the person in the mirror!
3. After morning ablutions and before breakfast, I switch on my laptop and listen to a 10 minute meditation tape and then read my ‘Daily Mental Conditioners’ and look at my ‘vision board’ of things that I want and their timeline.   This keeps me focused on what I want from my life and not on what I don’t want – which is key to happy living!
4. When I get downstairs, I then greet my wife with a resounding “Good Morning” and give her a hug!
5. After breakfast I avoid reading the newspaper – which will more often than not put me back in a ‘bad mood’ which I do not want!   (Instead I check my emails, which takes me some time.)
6. Since I have now begun to work at Internet Marketing from the home, I then begin to carry out some of the myriad duties I need to get done – such as learning about list building and driving traffic, then sending out ads,  writing a draft of a blog post or article, etc.
7. Then it is time for Lunch and a short nap!
8. After Tea, I continue with some of the work I had begun earlier – sending classified ads, solo ads, writing articles, etc.
9. In the evening, if there are no family activities planned, after dinner I may watch TV or read some of my downloaded inspirational ebooks!
10. This will put me in a happy frame of mind before going to bed.  Just before sleeping I also listen to a relaxation audio which helps me further wind down (and sleep like a child!)

I realize that most of the readers who are working at a day-job will not be able to follow all the steps of my routine listed above.  However everyone should be able to carry out Steps 1 to 5  and Steps 9 & 10 each day.  Best of all you can always plan your own day to suit your daily job or other activities.

Just remember to be Aware of Your Feelings, because feelings are the best gauge of the thoughts you are holding in your mind) and then Choose to think only the Thoughts that will make you Feel Happier and at Peace!  This will make Daily Happy Living a habit and a reality for you!

As always, Expect Happiness!

A couple of inspirational ebooks I am reading at present are as follows:

Free From Fear: This book shows 22 ways to overcome fears and phobias. You can download this ebook for FREE by clicking on the title above.

Outrageous Mastery This book is a truly unusual TRUE story of a woman who went from Wealthy, to Broke and Back to Success. Check it out by clicking the link above.

• happy living , unhappiness
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gopimenon September 13th, 2009

In my last post I discussed why I believe God is FOR us and NOT against us!  Today we will continue with the discussion.  If God is for us, then logically this World He created for us, is also FOR us and NOT against us, as many have taught us to believe.

I like to think of this World as a learning institution – a school, college or university rather than as a penal colony! Just think about this.   Didn’t we have some of our best times during our college or university days?  Most of us feel nostalgic about the ‘good old days in school’, which is why we have so many annual get togethers for Old Boys/Past Pupils!

At college we had the opportunity to learn so much, do so much and experience so much!  We could study in the libraries and classrooms, we could carry out experiments in the laboratories, we could play games, take part in athletic events and we could learn to debate.   Depending on the college, we could also swim, learn music,  dance and acting,  we could make lifelong friends, we could even fall in love!  Best of all we could have fun doing all these!

Isn’t that how the world is set up too?  For us to have fun learning, doing, feeling, growing and experiencing everything we have an interest in?  What better way can there be for humans to develop and grow and exploit all their innate talents that they have been gifted with?  So I believe that the World is like an institution of learning!

And what do we have to do to get promoted from year to year?   We have to study and carry out our assignments to the best of our abilities.   Then we are sure of being promoted to the next year and so on till graduation.  Do we have to constantly worry about the syllabus in the coming year or getting into the university of our choice after graduation?  No.  All we have to do is concentrate on doing a good job in the classroom and in our co-curricular activities each year and we are SURE to be promoted to the next year and ultimately get an entrance to our favorite university!  Of course if we cut classes, and never do our assignments and only make trouble for the other students, we will not be promoted to the next year but may have to repeat or even be suspended!

I feel that it is the same when it comes to living in this world.   If we live a good and great and happy life in this dimension (college) we will be SURELY promoted to a better/higher dimension in due course!  So why do we worry so much about the next life or the afterlife?  Why do we need to appease the gods, or pray for salvation?   We are already on the path to salvation – just by living, and living well!  (What living well means has been mentioned in my earlier posts but will be elaborated upon in a forthcoming post!)

Now, if we don’t learn our lessons in this life and refuse our worldly assignments, then it should be no surprise that we have to come back and repeat this life over again.   Refusing to live, learn and grow – saying that life is an illusion - is not going to make any difference!  You will learn!  Sooner or later, but you will learn! Remember that the Universe has infinite time so it has Infinite Patience! It is not in any hurry!   If you refuse to learn all that you are supposed to learn in this lifetime, that’s okay.    If you refuse to follow your inner programming (or conscience) that is okay too!  Remember the Universe also has Infinite Compassion!  So you are not going to be punished if you fail to learn in this lifetime.  You are not going to sent to HELL for eternity! You will be give more chances to learn, that is all.  You will just have to keep coming back again and again and again (if you so choose) to this world until you are ready to be promoted to the next dimension!

Our souls took on this life form in order to experience, to learn, to love and to enjoy and hence to GROW.  The best way we can fulfill that purpose is to LIVE – to think, to feel & to experience enthusiastically with our whole heart and mind and soul.

If we remember that God is for us, the world is for us and that we humans have been programmed for happiness, it should not be difficult to make daily happy living a reality!

• happiness , happy living , unhappiness , universal laws
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