DailyHappyLiving.com

gopimenon August 31st, 2010

Hi There,

Wishing all Malaysian readers a “Selamat Hari Merdeka’ i.e. ‘Happy Independence Day!

Today is Merdeka (or Independence) Day for Malaysia!   It is all of 53 years  since the nation of Malaysia got its independence from the British in 1957.

So as a nation we have freedom.   However today I want to talk about true freedom as an individual!Are we truly free as individuals?   Are we not unduly affected by what other people say or do? 

As long as we always just REACT to other people and circumstances, then we are not truly free! We tend to remain as puppets where other people can pull our strings! For example, another vehicle cuts into our path on the road and we flare up in anger;   a waiter is slow to serve us and we get upset;  our spouse is critical of something we did and we explode,  and so on…

As long as we react to others and to external circumstances, we remain mere puppets – our actions are not independent.   If our happiness and our behavior depends on what others say or do, then we are actually slaves to others!

It is only when we can RESPOND appropriately to people and circumstance;  when we CHOOSE our responses, that we regain our personal freedom!

That is why I have been saying that ‘Our Happiness is within our Own Control’ – because our Mind is totally under our own control; the thought we choose to dwell on;  and how we choose to respond to others is also within our own control!   See my earlier post on ‘You Control Your Thoughts, No One Else!‘

Too many of us are miserable because we do not realize this truth; we expect to be made happy by the words and actions of others.   This is like saying “I will be happy when the whole world makes me happy!”  That is not going to happen!   It is easier and much more practical to change our own responses rather than change other people.

True happiness is a mental state within our own mind, which cannot be enslaved by the whims and fancies of others!

In conclusion may I say that on this Merdeka Day, let us remember we are always free to respond in a way that keeps us happy!

Have a great day!

• happiness , happy living , law of mind
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gopimenon July 20th, 2010

Last week my grandson celebrated his First Birthday.   My son and daughter-in-law had planned everything very well and so the party went without a hitch!  The decorations were fine, so was the food, and so too were the guests and all of us enjoyed ourselves tremendously!

However the incident that made me think of God in a new light, came after all the guests had left, leaving just the immediate family! The doting parents were viewing the video that had been shot of their son blowing out the candles on his birthday cake.   The child was so happy that he was clapping his hands in glee when the guests finished singing the birthday song.  After blowing out the candle, when everyone clapped, the birthday boy too smiled widely and clapped.

The parents were so thrilled and happy at the sight of their child being happy that they kept rewinding the video to see it again and again! Why were they so happy?  Because they saw their child being happy!

Then it occurred to me:  If we as parents can be so happy to see our children happy,  would not God the omnipotent Parent also feel happy when we are happy? The answer is “Of course God would!”   Nothing could make God happier than have his creation (humans) enjoying themselves and being truly happy in this world of God’s creation, just as any doting parent would!   So it stands to reason that God would be happy if we were happy and not if we were miserable!

Unfortunately for us and the world, all of us are brainwashed from birth with teachings that make God out to be a vengeful, vindictive, autocratic dictator instead of a loving, caring Parent!

We are told to Fear God, to Obey God, to Pray everyday so as to Pacify the vengeful God!  We are told to feel guilt because “We are Sinners”;  “We are born on Earth to work out our Bad Karma”; that this wonderful world is like a Penal Colony to which we were banished from paradise because our first parents disobeyed God!

How vindictive must God be to punish all the following generations of children for a ‘sin’ committed once by a parent? How wicked must God be to create a horror called Hell to place his children in ‘forever’ just because they disobeyed Him?  How we do malign God to think of God’s compassion and love in such horrible terms!   But that is what we have been doing for ages and still continue to do so!  Our every belief about God is an insult to everything good in the Creator!

No wonder we find it difficult to be happy!  We turn everything good God has created and say that ‘this world is evil’, ‘people are sinners’, ‘life is an illusion’, and so on!  We are told we cannot be and should not be happy in this life but must suffer now so that we can reap the rewards in our afterlife! What crap?  But that is what is being preached even now!  Worst of all even educated people who should use their God-given power of reasoning, fall for such blatant untruths and continue to teach the same negative ideas to their children.   Then they complain God is not fair, the world is full of evil etc.

According to the Law of the Mind which we use in Affirmations, whatever we repeat to ourselves and continue to focus on we will attract!  So if you keep repeating that “I am a sinner” everyday, can you expect to become a saint? Of course not!  You will continue to remain a sinner and become a worse sinner if you believe such thoughts!

It is time to look at God in a new light – as a loving, compassionate, caring parent who has set up everything we need in this world to experience, enjoy, grow, be fulfilled and be happy in this life NOW and not only in the hereafter!

How much happier would we be if we believed in such a loving, caring God?   And that is the truth – God is loving, God is caring, God has your best interests at heart!  How can it be otherwise when even his creations (humans) can show so much love and caring to their own children? God has got to be the most wonderful Parent we could ever dream of having!   So let us Love God (not Fear God) and be grateful and happy and live a wonderful life here and now!

By looking at all the wonders of creation in this world, we can be confident that when our time is up on this plane of existence, God would have created an even better world for us to inhabit.   So have no fear for the present or the future!  Don’t listen to the false teachings of fear-mongers who only hope to control you by fear!

As always let me say again:

If you will reason things out for yourself using your God-given mind and discernment, and not just follow blindly what some so-called masters or gurus are saying, then you can make Happy Living a habit and a reality!

Will be back soon with more Tips on Happy Living.

• fear , gratitude , happy living , law of mind
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gopimenon October 22nd, 2009

It’s been some time since I posted another Happy Living Tip.   So for today I am giving another important tip on happy living.  This has to do with ‘forgiveness’, specifically on the practical aspects of forgiving.  So here is Happy Living Tip #6.

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Happy Living Tip # 6: How to Forgive Someone!

We always hear people tell us that it is good to forgive, ‘to forgive is divine’ etc. but seldom are there any specific details on ‘how to forgive’.   That is what this tip is all about.  We will explore the practical aspects of forgiving others.

To do this I have separated the people to be forgiven into 2 categories; namely ‘Strangers & Acquaintances’ and ‘Family and Close Friends’.  These are described below.

___________________________________________________________________

Forgiving Strangers & Acquaintances:

The first thing to realize about forgiveness is that you are NOT doing it for the other person, but for yourself!   Because the feelings of anger, shame & hurt when you think about the perceived injury to your ego or self-esteem, is all within your own mind!  

And you continue to feel insulted or shamed and get angry when you continue to dwell on the ‘injury’ in your own mind.   Externally there may be nothing to show for the hurt you feel – the person who caused it may be gone for good or you may not meet him/her again.

If you have been following this blog for some time, you already know that your mind is completely under your own control – you can choose what thoughts you allow to stay or change those thoughts as you like! 

So how does it benefit you to keep thinking of the perceived injury again and again?  You are only hurting yourself repeatedly by your continuing resentment.  By continuing to think of tit-for-tat or revenge to get back at the person involved, you are only poisoning your own physical system!

The excess adrenaline rush is in your body, the hormonal imbalance is in your body, the side effects of these are also going to show up in your own body and mind!  You are not affecting the other person in any way at all.Once you realize this,  it is easy to forgive the other person.   Because by the act of forgiving, the one you help is yourself and not the other!

Also the forgiving act you do is in your own mind!  You do not have to go up to the other person and say ‘I forgive you’ or anything like that.   Just say inside your own mind: ‘bless you, have a good life’ or something like that,  and close the book on the incident!

Here is a test to know if you have really forgiven: If you hear the other person’s name mentioned and your mind does not immediately go back to that incident; if it does not affect you one way or another – then you have truly forgiven!   

If you can think about that person without feeling upset or hurt or envy, then you have truly forgiven!  On the other hand if you carry with you any vestiges of the perceived injury, then the very mention of the person’s name will bring about renewed feelings of upset and anger.

NOTE: For a first hand example of how I managed to learn to forgive and forget,  read my post “How I Overcame Road Rage!”

In my next post I will discuss the more difficult problem of ‘Forgiving Family & Friends’!

As always Expect Happiness!

Gopinathan

• anger , happiness , happy living , law of mind , unhappiness
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gopimenon June 24th, 2009

In the last post we discussed some of the reasons behind whether we should blame God or not for the bad things that happen.  I ended the post saying that ‘All Universal Laws / Principles are TRUE All the Time and are completely Neutral’.   Today we will explore this further.

Let us take the simplest case of a well known and documented universal law – The Law of Gravity!   It applies to everything on earth, in our Solar System, and our Galaxie.

On Earth, nothing and no one is exempt from this universal law.

The law of gravity is as true for the inanimate (lead, feather, rock or water)  and for the animate (humans, animals, birds & insects).   It is true for the beggar as for the millionaire, for the saint as for the sinner, for the strong as for the weak, for the philanthropist as for the terrorist!

It doesn’t take sides – it remains neutral, always!  If a terrorist and a philanthropist were to fall 4 floors to the pavement below,  both are going to face the same fate – smashed to death!  That is obvious, so can we blame the universe for allowing the philanthropist to die?

More importantly the Law of Gravity hold true ALL the Time!  Can you imagine what happens if Gravity were to make exceptions?   Let us say God decided to intervene and save the philanthropist from hitting the pavement by suspending the Law of Gravity for just a few seconds, imagine the catastrophes that could occur around the world:

• All things that are not firmly embedded or secured to the ground will fly off into space!  The people walking on the pavement would suddenly become weightless for a few seconds and may end up a thousand feet up in the air.    The atmosphere itself would be thrown off into space by the rotation of the earth.   The planes flying at 20000 feet will suddenly be swept up to the outer layers of the atmosphere and would explode because it is not designed to fly in vacuum.  Even in the kitchen the mother pouring out boiling water from a kettle into a cup will find the stream of boiling water going upwards and may get scalded.  Cars that are going at speed on the ground will lose traction with the ground and go tumbling,  etc. etc.  There will be total chaos on Earth!  It would be like Armageddon – all because the Law of Gravity was suspended for a few seconds to save a `preferred’ life!

So now we know why a universal law has to work ALL the time!  Also why a universal law cannot make exceptions – no matter what or who is involved!   It is we who have to learn how to study, understand and accommodate to it.   Thus there is no point in blaming either the Universe or the Creator for the bad things that happen!

In any earthly system for the many, certain rules have to be followed by the individual, to make it work!   If the individuals are NOT following the rules, it is they who are ultimately responsible for the bad things that happen – not the one who created the system!

Of course when it comes to systems created by us humans, there will be shortcomings; but when we talk of a system created by God, even something so complex as this Planet and its People, it is perfect!  There is no chance of shortcomings!  For example:

• the beauty and harmony between plants and animals: `The Respiration of the animals (which gives out CO2) is balanced out by the Photosynthesis of plants (which gives out O2).
• The `water cycle’ of nature – where surface water evaporates (distilling the water), is collected as clouds and comes down as rain to become surface water again.
• The `anomalous behavior of water’ which allows solid ice to be lighter than liquid water, thus allowing ice to float – thereby preserving ocean life and life on earth (NOTE: I will be posting just on this one miracle soon)
• ETC.

The only shortcomings are caused by our ignorance of the universal laws and many times by our deliberate attempts to circumvent some of these laws because of our greed and selfishness!  For example over-logging, destroying trees and vegetation for buildings, changing the balance of CO2-O2 in the atmosphere by burning fossils, destroying the protective Ozone Layer etc.

In conclusion the question “Why does God allow bad things to happen?” only shows that we lack understanding of the world and the unchangeable universal laws that have been put in place for the protection of the planet and its people by the Creator. God does not interfere or intercede in any way to make either bad things or good things happen!  

God has prepared a wonderful place for us humans to learn, experience, have fun, grow and co-create using our free will, our mind and all the creative powers we have been gifted with.  Whether our co-creation turns out good or bad depends almost entirely on us as humans taking charge and accepting responsibility for our own actions and stop blaming others or outward circumstances or God!

• happy living , law of mind , universal laws
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gopimenon June 18th, 2009

In this post I would like to answer another question by a reader:  “Why does God allow bad things to happen?”

Another great question!  I believe this is one that many people keep asking, because they do not understand the principle of creating and operating a system.

True Story: A few weeks ago a freak accident happened on one of the expressways of Malaysia.  A bus crashed through the guard rails at the side of the road and the rails speared through the bus.  This resulted in the horrific deaths of several passengers.

Image via Wikipedia

As usual there were a lot of mail in the newspapers saying that the guardrails should be better designed and changed and so on.   Most people forgot that the the true cause of the accident  was the driver and not the guardrails!   As some wit once said:  “The cause of any accident is always the nut behind the steering wheel!”   The guardrails are not designed to keep your vehicle on the road safely if you hit it at 90 km/h or so!  And they need not be!   But as usual the public will blame the highway builders.

Of course there are some cases where the highways are not designed properly: such as poor banking at road curves unable to accommodate the recommended speeds,  road surface deteriorating very fast in the rainy season, high possibility of landslides etc.   But in the vast majority of cases, the expressways in Malaysia are of a really high standard!

Why am I bringing up this incident?  Because it reflects the way people think in general.  They always tend to find someone or something outside of themselves to blame.   They do not accept responsibility for their own actions!  In the case above, if the driver had been alert (not sleepy or on drugs or whatever else caused the lapse of concentration) and was driving safely, then this accident would not have occurred.   To blame the road designers or the guardrails for being the main cause of the problem is ridiculous!

Of course when a public road used by thousands is involved, there will be cases when you may end up in an accident even if you are not to blame.   Some other car suddenly jumps the divider and falls into your path – you cannot avoid the crash and it is not your fault!   But it is still the other driver’s fault – not the fault of the road designer or builder! Similarly the world too is designed to be of a high standard (perhaps the highest standard) by the Creator.   But we have to be responsible for our own actions.

• To take just one example:  In the USA especially, every day we hear of shooting related deaths of children and other innocent people, but they are still very reluctant to pass a Gun Control Law!   It seems ridiculous to me that small kids (pre-teenagers) are involved in  fatal shootings.   If they had no easy access to guns, these tragedies would not have occurred.   But the majority of the adults  insist on their right to bear arms and are negligent in keeping the guns out of reach of the children.   So when the innocent children die, do we blame God or the people whose actions caused the tragedies?

Even when we talk of global events, such as climate change, is God really to blame?  We cause the problems and over a long period  of time it escalates into a global catastrophe!   Just as when we drive on the roads, we have to follow certain common sense rules to avoid accidents, so too in life we have to follow certain common sense rules to maintain the integrity of the planet.

Just as the designer of the road cannot (and should not) have to be responsible for every individual driver’s actions, so too God cannot be held responsible for the actions of each human!  Each one of us has been provided with the tools (our body and our senses) and the ability (our brains and mind) to live a wonderful life in a truly well-designed universe.   It is our responsibility to make sure we do live a wonderful life.

Another thing to remember is how Universal Laws work.   A universal law or principle has to be true all the time and has to be neutral – not a respecter of persons!   This will be discussed in the next post Part 2 of  “Why does God allow bad things to happen?”.

• anger , gratitude , happy living , law of mind , pursuit of happiness , self acceptance , unhappiness
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gopimenon June 3rd, 2009

Hi There,

Today I wish to answer a question from a reader who asks:

“Your stories about the Power of Belief were interesting.  But what is the point I am to take away from them?  How do I use it in a practical way?”

Great question!  Because I am constantly thinking about these ideas, to me the answer seems obvious.  However I realize that I have not really spelled it out clearly in my posts.  So here goes:

• I said that the `Power of a Belief is in the Belief itself and NOT in the Object of the Belief!’  What this means is that external objects or persons or things are NOT really necessary for you to achieve what you truly want, and can even be counter productive.
• E.g.  Let us say that you rely on Lucky Charms, or Amulets or Feng Shui etc. to help you achieve your dreams. Now what happens when you lose the lucky charm or amulet or a new building comes up and spoils the `feng shui’ of your house?   Immediately you feel worried that your luck or attraction to the good things has disappeared!  But the fact is that the power to achieve your own dreams lies in your own Mind – and your mind is always with you.  It cannot be stolen or lost (unless you overdose on drugs).   So when the Power is always within you, why give up this power to external objects – leading to more problems?
• First let me ask you: “What took away your power in the first place?”   You lost your power because of repeated negative inputs from parents, teachers, peers, books etc. that said you were powerless!   You know things like:  `you can’t have everything you want’;  `who do you think you are?’ `be realistic’;  `Man proposes, God disposes’;  `anything that can go wrong will – Murphy’s Law’ et.   When you hear such things repeated thousands of times from your childhood onwards from people you normally look up to – of course you start believing that you have no power to create your own destiny!  You think you have to resort to many tricks to achieve what you want.  Since the Supreme power is against you, then what can you do?  You resort to bribing God (giving offerings & sacrifices) and make agreements with God (if you give me the promotion, I will shave my head bald etc.)
• The types of bribes seem real funny to me.  Imagine God jumping up in joy saying: “Wow!  My devout fan is going to donate his hair to me;  or light dozens of candles or cause pain to himself by walking barefoot when he is pricked with needles.  I have got to give him his wishes!”   How silly?  God does not ask anything from you, except to make the most of the talents he has gifted you with at birth! But because we do not believe in a nurturing universe, we keep trying all kinds of unnecessary things at great expense and effort, hoping that God will somehow look with compassion at us!
• There is an old saying “If God be for us, who can be Against us?”  How true!  But you must remember that God is always FOR us and the Universe is also for us.  We don’t need all these so called good luck charms!   We already have the greatest good luck charm within us – our Mind, whose powers we have yet to fully understand!

So let’s get back to the practical aspect.  What can you do to improve or strengthen the Power of Your Belief?  You do the same thing that got you to lose your power – you use repetition of thoughts.  But this time you repeat ONLY good thoughts, powerful to yourself, NOT negative and weak thoughts as you have been habitually doing!

• Get yourself in a relaxed condition so that your mind goes into the Alpha brain wave state – the daydream state when you just wake up and are not fully alert (which is the Beta state).   When you are in the Alpha state,  your Conscious mind is not standing by to censor each and every new thought, so it is easy for your suggestions to reach your Subconscious  mind.  There you can easily set up new thought patterns.   If you were to just read your affirmations etc. while in the wide awake or Beta state, the messages will never reach the subconscious and you will not see any changes in your situation!
• Repeat to yourself good thoughts that you like and enjoy thinking (called Affirmations), and believe that your aspirations are coming true!
• Do this at least twice a day (once in the morning and once at night) and soon you will have much more self confidence.   You will then act on your intuitive ideas and thus you will achieve your goals – without the use of any rituals, or amulets or other external things to `appease an angry God’!

So in summary, my answer to your question is this:

“Slowly increase your belief in your own powers by thinking inspiring, positive, joyful and sensible thoughts as described above.   Then surely you will wean yourself away from your belief in external objects (such as good luck charms etc.)  Remember your greatest good luck charm lies within you – perhaps it is dormant;  then wake it up and make Happy Living Daily a reality!

To help you in changing your belief systems, I have just created a little ebook called “My Daily Mind Conditioners’ which you can Download for FREE by just filling in Your Name and Email in the form on the right sidebar.

• happy living , law of mind
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gopimenon May 23rd, 2009

Hi There,

Continuing from my last post on The Power of Belief, I have another 2 intriguing stories on miraculous healings for you today.   The first one is from Wallace Wattles the author of the famous trilogy:  Science of Being Well,  Science of Being Great &  Science of Getting Rich (SOGR)!  His major principle in The Science of Being Well is `All the sick who have been healed, by whatever system, became healed because of their own inner thoughts and beliefs – by thinking in a Certain Way!’

Healing Bones of  a Saint: It was said that several centuries ago, the bones of a Saint, kept in one of the monasteries were working miracles of healing.   On certain days in the year, the bones were brought out and put on show.  The public who were suffering from illnesses and diseases were allowed to touch the relics and many who did had a healing.  One day on the eve of one of these appointed public days, it was found that some vandal had removed the wonder working bones.   The monks were worried because the next morning there would be the usual crowds of people coming to be healed.   They decided to hush up the matter (hoping to find and recover the relics soon) and replaced the lost bones with those of a murderer who had been buried at the monastery years ago.   They also planned to make up some excuse when the bones did not heal the masses!  However to their shock, the healings went on as normal – the bones of the criminal seemed to be just as effective as those of the saint!  One of the monks wrote a report of the occurence saying that: `The healing power had always been in the people themselves and not in the bones.  What had brought the power out was their own belief’.

I read about the second story from a book called `Power of the Subconscious Mind’ by Rev. Dr. Joseph Murphy.  I don’t have a copy of the book with me now, so I’m just telling what I remember reading so many years ago.

Was it Honest or Ethical?: A young man had just gone on a tour of the holy sites in Jerusalem and the region.  His father was critically ill with advance tuberculosis and was said to have ony a few months to live.  The son was devoted to his father and did not want to see him suffer the agonies of the disease.   So he came up with a plan.  He found a small piece of wood and set it in a nice metal frame and told his father:  “I managed to buy this valuable relic when I was on tour in Jerusalem.  The wood is a piece of the original cross on which Jesus was crucified.  It is said that if you keep it with you, it can heal your illness.  The father who was  a staunch believer in Christ, immediately grabbed the wood piece and held it to his chest reverently and never was without it.  The strange thing is that he was cured of his TB and instead of dying in a few months, lived healthily for another 18 years!  Of course the son never told him the truth about the `relic’ – if he had, the father might have suffered a relapse!

What I got from these two stories and the earlier one about Ekalavya, is that it is the power in our own beliefs that enable us to achieve great things or even healings.   The power is NOT in the objects of that belief.   E.g in the first story, Drona was hardly deserving of the reverence he was given as a guru or great teacher.   Similarly the bones of the criminal were not endowed with great powers of healing – neither was the saint’s!   Also it was the son’s blatant `white lie’ that allowed his father to be cured and live to a ripe old age.

This is the point I have been raising all through in this blog from the very first posting.  There is a law of mind that works for everyone and this law is immutable.  “What we focus our thoughts on and believe wholeheartedly is what we create in our reality!” It works for bad as well as good.   If you focus constantly on sickness (talk about it, read about it, think about it) you will get sick!  If you constantly focus on health, refusing to dwell on opposing thoughts, then you can realise health!  If you focus with confidence on achieving your goal, without allowing doubt-thoughts, then you will achieve your goal!

In summary, If you want to make Happy Living Daily a way of life, then you have to dwell on happy thoughts; `change channels’ (Tip #3) whenever your thoughts go morose;  believe that `Man Proposes, God ENDORSES’ – God does not put obstacles in your path just to make you fail and gloat at your misery! The Universe is for you, not against you – the challenges you face are what makes life interesting instead of boring!

• happy living , law of mind
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gopimenon May 8th, 2009

Hello again!

What is Happiness?  Perhaps this question should have been in the very first post on this blog!   But `happiness’ is not easily defined.  Each person or group seem to have their own version of happiness – which includes pleasure, contentment, joy, having money, finding your mate, success, achievement etc. etc.

Even when I google `happiness’, I get so many different definitions for happiness that it makes my head spin.  Moreover none seems satisfactory or complete – does not make me Happy!  Ha..Ha.  So I am coming up with my own definition of Happiness which I hope is more satisfactory and complete.

By the way, the world map shown here indicates the `Satisfaction With Life Index’ around the world.  If your country happens to be in the Green area, you are the happiest and if in the Red area, you are among the unhappiest!  But that does not give you an excuse to say `I can’t help it, I’m unhappy because I’m in the Red zone!’  Read on and see how you can create your own happiness – whether you are in the red, pink, or green zones!

Gopi’s Definition of Happiness:

Happiness is a state of mind when we FEEL GOOD – whether it is because of sensory pleasures,  intellectual pleasures or spiritual pleasures!

• Sensory Pleasures: Those related to our 5 senses e.g. Seeing a beautiful sunset, hearing a melodious song, eating a favorite meal/enjoying a drink, smelling a wonderful perfume, physical intimacy with a loved one etc.
• Intellectual Pleasures: Those related to our intellect e.g. Reading a good book, remembering something pleasant, planning a dream goal, writing a book, etc.
• Spiritual Pleasures: Those related to doing something altruistic (helping orphans, the aged), contributing to the world (monetary gifts, wisdom, cheer, inspiration etc.)

In the examples above, although each one of us acts in ways that may seem so different, the final motivation to action is `to feel good’ – whatever that means to each one of us!   This is what I meant in an earlier post when I said `We are all programmed for happiness!’.   This of course refers to the vast majority of human beings who are considered `normal’.

NOTE: The next paragraph is about the negative aspect of happiness and does not really deserve a place in this blog on Happy Living, but in the interest of completeness, I am adding it.  The reader is at liberty to ignore this paragraph and go on to the next part on `genuine happiness’.

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While the vast majority of people can be considered `normal’, however there are some whose idea of feeling good is a little perverted.  People such as:

• Sadists: who feel good to see others in pain or suffering
• Vengeful Types: who feel good when others get their `just desserts’
• Extremists: who believe that by killing others they will get to feel good (find happiness) in the `after life’
• Martyrs: who believe that by killing themselves they will get to feel good (find happiness) in the `after life’
• Suicide Bombers: a mixture of both extremist & martyr mentality.
• Dictator: one who feels good only when everybody else feeds his ego by being servile, and never dare to cross him!
• Etc.

My point in listing these negative examples is just to show that even in these extreme cases, the persons are all taking action to feel good within themselves.

On a lesser level the alcoholic, the smoker and the drug addict are all also taking action to feel good, namely to be happy!

As I said before, we are all programmed to do what will make us happy, but our bodies are also built to adapt.   For example when someone first tries to smoke, the body will react instantly to repel the smoke by coughing and choking because it definitely does not feel good!   However if we insist on smoking, gradually the body adapts to the smoke – and even learns to like it and we become addicted to it.  Ditto for alcohol and drugs.  Ditto for all the perversions that people get addicted to.

Okay!  That is enough of the negative aspects.   Continue Reading »

• happiness , happy living , law of mind
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gopimenon April 24th, 2009

“The secret to being happy is to be aware that you are not!”

HEY!  That sounds like a cryptic saying by one of the old masters!

Great!  I am especially happy I came up with that sentence because my family considers me long-winded and are always asking me to come to the point!  I guess it is an occupational hazard I face because with my engineering background, even when I discuss philosophy,  I feel the need to cover all angles!

Coming back to the statement above `The secret to being happy is to be aware that you are not!’ I can hear you saying: “Of course I am aware when I am not happy!  What are you talking about?”

I’m glad you asked.   Think about it, are you REALLY aware that you are unhappy, at the instant that you feel upset? Normally we are not.  What we do is we allow all the little irritations to build up in our mind and over time we feel bad and don’t know why.   We blame it on our mood!   But a mood is not just something that appears out of the blue.  It is the sum of a series of thoughts and feelings we are not aware of.

EXAMPLE:
Let me give you an example of how petty irritations end up changing your mood from happy to morose. Several years ago when I worked in a small town the commute time from home to the power station was only about 10 minutes.

One day I left the office at 4 pm in a happy mood because I was expecting to join my tennis buddies on court at 4.30 pm.  However by the time I reached home at 4.10 pm my mood had changed to one of anger and brooding.  I asked myself `Why did my mood change from happy to angry all within the space of 10 minutes?’  I retraced the incidents that had happened on my trip from the power station.

• First, as I reversed slowly from my garage, I was forced to apply the emergency brakes because another car just whizzed by without warning.
• Then when I reached the main gate, I had to queue behind a row of cars.
• When I was finally outside the gate and turning into the  main road, a motorbike roared across the front of my car, again causing me to brake.  Etc. etc.
• By the time I reached home, at least 10 petty disturbances had impinged on my mind, thereby causing the appropriate negative feelings.
• I had not been consciously aware of my thoughts or feelings but each petty incident had registered some irritation on my mind so that by the time I reached home I was in a bad mood.  It being a case of “the last straw that broke the camel’s back”.

MEANING of TODAY’S TITLE:
If I had been consciously aware of each incident and the feelings associated with it, then I would not have ended up being in such a foul mood!  So that is the meaning behind the title of today’s post.

If we can continually monitor our thoughts and feelings on an instant by instant basis, and choose to change our thoughts to more happy ones, then we can cultivate the Habit of Happiness!

As I have mentioned early on in this blog, our happiness depends on the thoughts we allow to occupy our mind.  In order to ensure that these thoughts remain happy, we have to continually weed out the unhappy thoughts. To do that we have to be AWARE of the state of our mind at every instant.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION:
Nowadays because I regularly follow the Happiness Tips 1 & 2 in this blog, I am seldom in a bad mood.  However I still have to be on guard all the time. Continue Reading »

• happiness , happy living , law of mind , unhappiness
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