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gopimenon March 30th, 2009

Well Friends, sorry that I have been unable to blog in the last few days because of the arrival of a VIP into our family! So the promised blog post entitled ‘The World According to Gopi” will have to be held over to the next.

Now who is the VIP who has caused such a stir in the family and ousted my proposed blog?   It is our very first grandchild! Last week my dear wife of 35 years and I went to Seremban to welcome the arrival of my eldest son’s first baby Hiranya! Although the childbirth entailed ceasarian surgery, both mother and child are fine.

It was a really happy `Birth’ day!   What a reason for celebration – a new life has been brought into this world!  And may she continue to enjoy many, many, many more birthdays.   I do so want to explain just how important and wonderful a new life, any new life, is.   However I am at a loss for words!

As Shakespeare would say: “For I have neither wit, nor words, nor the power of speech to stir people….”

Fortunately, just last month I received a truly wonderful Birthday Greeting from  the Tut Adventurers Club which is so unique that I would like to dedicate it to our new VIP Hiranya.

Baby Hiranya

Happy Birth Day to You, Dear Hiranya!

A few days ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Hiranya Menon doesn’t come along all that often. In fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You’re an Angel among us.  Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated.  Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is….

The above birthday greeting extols the singular value that I too place on LIFE, and continually advocate in this blog – but it does so with far better words and poetic prose!

About TUT: You can visit www.tut.com and subscribe to their free newsletter`Notes from the Universe’.   This site is operated by Mike Dooley one of the teachers featured on `The Secret’.   I have been subscribed to his newsletter for more than a year and I still look forward to his `Notes from the Universe’ in my email Inbox!

MY ODE TO LIFE

I believe that Life is a Miracle, perhaps the greatest miracle of all!   The creation of the physical world (the galaxies, with an infinite variety of suns, stars and planets), pales in comparison with the creation of a Human Being.  For all their wonderful aspects, the planets and the suns are inanimate – they cannot recreate themselves or create anything new.

The Human Being however is a living, breathing, thinking, feeling being, who is also a Co-Creator on her/his own terms.  He/she has been given the power to create things that are not found naturally in Nature, such as music and art and books and buildings and cars and planes and computers and internet etc. etc….Hence, this creation of a human life has got to be the highest aspect of Creation (in this dimension at least)!

However on a personal level, I believe that Life is the Greatest Gift that we have been given.   Without life there is nothing!  No feelings, no experiences, no happiness, no sorrows, no purpose, no achievements – absolutely nothing! — Gopi Menon

With that ode to life, I come to the end of this post.   We will return to `The World According to Gopi’ in the next post – I promise!

• anger , happiness , happy living , pursuit of happiness , unhappiness
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gopimenon March 24th, 2009

We are All Programmed for Happiness, i.e. God Wants Us to Be Happy!

Can that be true?  Of course, YES!   I have yet to hear of anyone who prays for `unhappiness’!   Has anyone of you ever prayed : “God I am too happy;  please give me some unhappiness!”   I don’t think so.   Why?  It is because Nature has programmed us humans to be happy!

Being Happy is our Birthright! In fact being happy ranks even higher than `self-preservation’ on the list of priorities of humans.   That is why so many commit suicide – because they feel without happiness, there is no point living.

Now if Happiness is so vital and we have been programmed to be happy, why do humans find it so hard to be happy and seem to be miserable most of the time?  BECAUSE we humans have the wrong beliefs about the nature of world and the nature of the mind!

If we only understood the nature of the world and the laws of the mind, then we would be able to create the happy life we were programmed to live.   We can `choose to create our own reality’ rather than just accept or endure a miserable, unfulfilled life.

• Let me begin with a small anecdote:  Thomas Alva Edison (the great inventor of the electric bulb, gramophone, cinema projector etc) was once asked by a lady: “What is Electricity?” Edison replied: ” Madam, Electricity IS, just USE it!”

Continue Reading »

• anger , happiness , happy living , pursuit of happiness , unhappiness
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gopimenon March 21st, 2009

Are you surprised at today’s blog title?  Well, I just thought my last few blogs have been too serious, and we need a change of pace!   After all a blog on happiness should be fun too.  Right?

`Creative Laziness & Avoiding Hard Work!’   Don’t the words make you happy just thinking about it?   Most of us seem to be living out our whole life working hard – and being miserable in the process.

I’m basically lazy; my wife would say very lazy.   Given the choice of doing something or doing nothing, I would always choose `doing nothing’ – just lazing around at home either watching TV or taking cat-naps or reading a book.  Are there any of you with similar tendencies?

Have you dreamt of lying on a hammock slung between two swaying coconut palms at the beach, with a fine breeze caressing you; just relaxing and daydreaming and dozing off when you feel like it?  Great!  There seem to be many who share my laziness.

So I’ve got GOOD NEWS for you!  It is not such a bad thing to be lazy and hard work is not all that great! That is not just my viewpoint.  Let me tell you what some famous people have said about laziness.

• “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” - Jules Renard.

• Back in 1937 Dr Lin Yutang wrote a book entitled `The Importance of Living’ a chapter of which is devoted to `The Art of Doing Nothing’.   He suggests that we can achieve “the highest wisdom of living by alternating between the absolutely erect vertical working posture and the horizontal posture of stretching ourselves on a sofa.”

• What is more to the point is what Agatha Christie (the greatest detective story writer) has to say about Laziness. She says:  “I don’t think necessity is the mother of invention. Invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly laziness, to save myself trouble.”
  

She does have a point doesn’t she?  The person who is too lazy to walk, thinks creatively of a way to avoid it and thus invents a horse-carriage, a bicycle or a car.   The entrepreneur too is basically lazy.  He wants more time for golf and other hobbies, so he starts a business.   He invents creative ways of leveraging on his employees, which allows the business to run while he is at the golf course.

Recently Fred Gratzon went even further.  He wrote a book called ‘The Lazy Way to Success’  (for more details click on the book image at the bottom of page).   Fred is an entrepreneur who hates hard work.  Yet two of his businesses grew like Jack’s beanstalk.   Each made Inc. Magazine’s list of the 500 fastest growing companies in America.  One of those businesses appeared three times and was even ranked #2.  Continue Reading »

• happiness , unhappiness
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gopimenon March 17th, 2009

The one major cause for our collective unhappiness as human beings can be summarized in the following statement that has been drummed into our hearts and accepted by almost everyone:  “Man Proposes; God Disposes!”

What a depressing thought? Thinking that the Creator who is Omnipotent (all powerful) and Omniscient (all knowing), is out to prevent us from achieving what we want!  How absurd!  No wonder we feel miserable!  How can we `puny’ humans fight against the might of God?

Does it make sense to think that God is just waiting to spoil all our well laid plans?   Why would our Creator who has created a wonderful world for us to live in, to experience, to enjoy and to develop our innate potential to the fullest, then do an about-turn and try to stop us from achieving our dreams or goals?

It is just plain silly!  If God is considered as a father figure,  as most of us are repeatedly taught, then how can He ever go against our dreams and goals?   Would any of you as a Father/Mother ever try to put obstacles in the way of your childrens achievement?   Of course not!  You would do your best to ensure that your children get the best possible help in going after their dreams!   So isn’t it a grave injustice to consider God as acting against the wishes of His children – us humans?

But that is how we have been brought up – to look at everything in as negative a manner as possible.  Just think of the aphorisms that we have been fed with since childhood:

• `Don’t laugh too much today, or you will have to cry tomorrow!’ My siblings and I had that drummed into our heads when we were kids.  So much so that we were afraid of being too happy.  We always expected the worst.
• `We are born into this world as punishment because of the sins of our forefathers’ All the great religions subscribe to this type of thinking – we were kicked out of Heaven because of Original Sin;  we are born into this world to suffer because of Karma etc.   So instead of thinking of this life or this world as a wonderful GIFT we think of it as a CURSE!
• `You can’t have everything in life!’ I guess even George Bernard Shaw the great playwright (who wrote Pygmalion, which became the movie `My Fair Lady’) subscribed to this type of thinking.  There is a well-known joke attributed to him, which goes as follows:  At a party in his honor, a stunning blond approaches G.B. Shaw and says: “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we got married and we had a child with your brains and my beauty?”   Shaw is supposed to have replied sarcastically:  “Madam what happens if the child is born with your brains and my beauty?”  First of all he too believed that `beauty & brains don’t go together!’ – therefore the beautiful blond must be stupid just because she is good looking!  Secondly, he forgot that even if the blond were not brainy, there was still a 50 – 50 chance of her assumption being true?
  If even a great intellectual like George Bernard Shaw can succumb to such negative conditioning, what about normal everyday people like us?

When we have been continually bombarded with such negatives,  it is impossible to retain a positive attitude!  How then can we be happy?   Continue Reading »

• unhappiness
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gopimenon March 16th, 2009

In my last post I mentioned that I overcame my `road rage’ because of 2 separate things.  The first was an epiphany I got when I was thinking about this problem.   I later spoke about this insight at a Toastmasters meeting under the following title:

You Control Your Thoughts, No One Else!

Ladies & Gentlemen, tonight I am going to prove to you that `You control your thoughts, no one else!’

Let us say you get mild road-rage when a car cuts in front of you suddenly and you have to apply emergency brakes to avoid ramming into it.    You become furious and feel justified in expressing your rage!   You rant and rave and chase after the car, overtake it and then cut in front of that car – `tit for tat’.

So what have you gained?   Have you taught the other driver never to cut in front of others suddenly?  Or have you just enraged him further?   You justify your actions, saying you have the right to be angry and there is nothing else you can do logically.    After all it is his fault for nearly causing an accident and he should be taught a lesson, etc.

But I tell you that it is not the other driver who made you mad!  It is you who chose to get angry because you believed that it was the right thing to do.   You gave yourself permission to cultivate thoughts of anger in your mind.   I shall prove it to you that you were still in control of your thoughts; you could have chosen to think differently and react otherwise! Continue Reading »

• anger , happiness
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gopimenon March 15th, 2009

For years I used to feel excessive anger when other drivers were discourteous on the road.   Let me tell you why.

Have you heard of the Golden Rule?   This says: “Do Unto Others as You Would Them Do Unto You!” Or the reverse “Don’t Do Unto Others what You Wouldn’t Want Them to Do to You!” I used to follow the Golden Rule religiously (in fact I still do).   Unfortunately this meant that I expected others to do likewise.  And when they did not, it made me furious!   Perhaps you can call this affliction the `Golden Rule Syndrome’.

Anyway, whenever I drove, I made it a point to be courteous on the road – I never double parked even though it meant me having to walk some distance;  I always used the signals when changing lanes;  I never hogged the fast lane – I kept an eye on the rear view mirror and if I saw any car coming up fast behind me, I immediately gave way.   So when I saw others breaking all these rules of road courtesy,  I used to get really mad.   I am not happy about it but to show you the extent of my problem, I have the following confession to make.

• One thing I never do is park in front of anyone’s driveway or gate, even if it was a friend I was visiting.   I just could not understand why people would do that, especially when space was available.   I had even instructed my wife to tell her friends never to obstruct the gate, but she never took it seriously.   She was more afraid of `what would they think?’   One day I came back from work and saw a small car blocking half of my driveway.   I was upset because there was ample space in front, for the car to be parked without obstructing the gate.   So instead of tooting the horn and waiting for the car to be moved, I impatiently tried to squeeze my car into the driveway and bang – the rear of the car hit the gate post and suffered a bad dent.   My wife and the friend came rushing out of the house looking shocked.   The dent cost me several hundred ringgit which I could ill afford but I still chose to blame the problem on my wife and her friend!

So now you know that I did have a bad case of the `Golden Rule Syndrome’ and it would not be easy to cure me!   However I did manage to cure myself  (almost overnight) of my excessive road anger and nowadays have no problem on the road – whether due to traffic jams or driver discourtesy.   Would you like to know how?   It came about because of 2 specific incidents – the first was an epiphany I had and the second was a strange but practical tip I received.

Look out for this in my next post How I Overcame Road Rage, Part II.

• happiness
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gopimenon March 14th, 2009

Since time immemorial people have been pursuing happiness – but they don’t seem to be any nearer to capturing it! This is because they have been misinformed and deluded for centuries.  Even the American Declaration of Independence contains these  famous words:

“We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Unfortunately people have been misdirected by these words `pursuit of happiness’ being uttered in the same breath as Life & Liberty and thought the idea to be self-evident.   And they took it to be literally true.  But this is just not so!   Happiness is not `out there’ to be pursued and captured. True happiness comes from within us and is to be created and experienced. It is by not understanding this that most people spend all their lives `pursuing’ happiness and end up dying miserable!

• Once we realize that happiness is within each one of us and can be created purposely by us and made into a regular habit, then we can be living happy every day of our lives!

The above sentence covers the essence of what I am going to be sharing in this blog.   However I know it is a great stretch for people to go from thinking `happiness is out there to be pursued/captured’ to `happiness is within us to be created and experienced’!   Hence in this blog we will be taking it slow, a step at a time so that anyone can follow the logic as well as the practical application of the tips I am going to suggest.

NOTE:   These tips are what I personally am still using to change my decades long  periods of misery to one of daily happiness.   Seems too good to be true?   Why not just keep an open mind and follow along, then make your own decision!    Accept it or reject it  – that’s your God given choice, but at least hear me out first!

Abe Lincoln says `Happiness is a Habit’  but I have to add that `Happiness is first of all a Choice, which by regular usage becomes a Habit’!   What do I mean by `Happiness is a Choice’?   Do we really have a choice?

Most of us go around asking:  “How can I be happy when`he makes me angry’ or `my job makes me frustrated’ or `my spouse does not support me’ etc?”   But is that really true?  Let us take a simple daily example that makes us upset, even furious at times.   I am talking about discourtesy on the road that causes some of us to  experience undue anger to the point of `road-rage’!

This is what I will be discussing in my next post:  How I overcame my own feelings of anger on the road. Make sure you catch it!

• happy living , pursuit of happiness
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