DailyHappyLiving.com

gopimenon May 30th, 2009

Hi There,

Today’s post is going to be very short!   I am just going to tell you about an incident at a Toll Booth in our country (Malaysia) as told to me by a reader of this blog:

Last week I was stuck behind a row of cars in the Touch N’ Go lane of a Toll Booth on the Federal Highway from Klang to Kuala Lumpur.   The reason was that the driver of the car at the booth had not checked the balance available on his Touch N’ Go card before he got to the booth.  When he touched his card to the plate, the gate would NOT open because there was insufficient amount in the card to cover the toll fare.  So he would have to reverse and go through a Cash Payment lane.

However, since there were already several cars lined up behind him, he could not reverse out.   This got the other drivers’ temper frayed and they started honking on their horns.   I too was getting irritated and was tempted to hoot while waiting for an attendant to show up and open the gate manually!

Suddenly another driver from a different lane walked up to to this booth and swiped his own card at the touch plate!  The gate opened and he waved the driver on, thus putting an end to his embarrassment as well as the frustration of the other drivers.  Then he walked back to his car and drove off.

I felt ashamed of myself for not having thought to do that (instead of getting all stressed out like the other drivers in this line).  The toll fare was only RM1 (approx. $0.30) and I could have just as easily eased the situation instead of waiting for a good Samaritan to show up!  I am also ashamed to admit that the good Samaritan was a foreigner – not a Malaysian!

The above incident is a very good example of how our choices we make in our mind leads to happiness or otherwise.  Many of the drivers chose to get angry at the negligence of the first driver and worked themselves up by hooting loudly, but did nothing to ease the situation!   But one person chose to easily resolve the problem at a small cost of just RM1 to himself.

This is another reminder to us that:

• Our state of mind is within our own control – and not dependent on external circumstances!   Thus being happy and at peace OR being angry and stressed out is a conscious choice we make during every instant of our lives.

As we become aware of the state of our mind at each instant and take steps to change that state to one of happiness, then we can slowly but surely make Happiness a Habit – even during traffic snarls on the crowded roads of Kuala Lumpur!

Here’s to Happy Living!  See you soon on this blog.

• anger , happiness , happy living
• Comments(0)

gopimenon May 29th, 2009

Hello Again,

What has thinking for yourself got to do with happiness?  Everything!   As I have said before, `Genuine Happiness is of the Mind and Spirit while the normal Feel Good state is more of the Body’.   If happiness is of the mind then our thinking has a lot to do with our happiness!

Unfortunately, most people do not like to `think’.   In fact as our good friend Wattles says in the Science of Being Great:

Thinking is the hardest and most exhausting of all labor.   We have been so created that we are continuously impelled toward thought – we must either think or engage in some activity to escape thought.  The headlong, continuous chase for pleasure in which most people spend their leisure time is only an effort to escape thought.  If they are alone …. they must think; and to escape from thinking they resort to novels, music, movies and all the endless seductions of entertainment…. Wallace Wattles

I have to clarify something here.  When Wattles talks of `thinking’ he is referring to focused, purposeful, voluntary thought.   Not the random thoughts that fill our minds ALL the time, triggered by anything we see, or hear, or sense or remember.

We all have thoughts but they are like the clouds that fill the sky, flitting from place to place and disappearing as easily as they were formed.  These random thoughts are associative and they jump from here to there without any real focus or purpose.

• Random Thoughts: For example this morning I was about to shave.  I was applying the Gilette gel to my face and it was lathering up easily … immediately my mind jumped back about 40 years to my Father who never even used foam (only soap and brush for lathering) … how he was so protective of us that he accompanied me to my first job posting in a town 200 km away … then I thought of my youngest son who was so independent that he was allowed to travel by bus on his own at the age of 10 to a town he had never been to … now he’s a pilot who travels the world … hey my stubble is all gray … must be getting old … Tun Mahathir is still active at 84 … Grandma Moses started painting at 80 … I hate modern art … I like the Sydney Opera House … some problem in Melbourne (Indian students being attacked) … same in UK … every country has racial or community problems … imagine being a slave in USA … etc….etc.
• So from shaving, within a few seconds, I had gone back in time, traveled the world, thought philosophy etc. all random, all without any specific purpose!  That is how we spend our thinking time, when we find any, amidst the hectic rat-race we run every day.

That is NOT the type of thinking we are referring to here.  We are talking about the voluntary choice of a topic to think about, to research and analyze and come to conclusions. Most of us are not willing to do that type of independent thinking because it is difficult. Just think how easy it is to converse with friends on any topic but how difficult it is to write a short essay on one topic, or even a letter!

So we settle for other people’s thoughts and treat those thoughts like the holy grail!  We settle for other peoples ideas – silly, or illogical or downright moronic – because we are too lazy to think for ourselves!

We refuse to acknowledge what some great thinkers have said:

• “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it (even if I have said it) unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense” – The Buddha
• “Always question everything. Ask: `What’, `Why’, `Why Not’, `How’, and `What If’’ before you accept anything as true” – Socrates Continue Reading »

• happiness , happy living
• Comments(0)

gopimenon May 23rd, 2009

Hi There,

Continuing from my last post on The Power of Belief, I have another 2 intriguing stories on miraculous healings for you today.   The first one is from Wallace Wattles the author of the famous trilogy:  Science of Being Well,  Science of Being Great &  Science of Getting Rich (SOGR)!  His major principle in The Science of Being Well is `All the sick who have been healed, by whatever system, became healed because of their own inner thoughts and beliefs – by thinking in a Certain Way!’

Healing Bones of  a Saint: It was said that several centuries ago, the bones of a Saint, kept in one of the monasteries were working miracles of healing.   On certain days in the year, the bones were brought out and put on show.  The public who were suffering from illnesses and diseases were allowed to touch the relics and many who did had a healing.  One day on the eve of one of these appointed public days, it was found that some vandal had removed the wonder working bones.   The monks were worried because the next morning there would be the usual crowds of people coming to be healed.   They decided to hush up the matter (hoping to find and recover the relics soon) and replaced the lost bones with those of a murderer who had been buried at the monastery years ago.   They also planned to make up some excuse when the bones did not heal the masses!  However to their shock, the healings went on as normal – the bones of the criminal seemed to be just as effective as those of the saint!  One of the monks wrote a report of the occurence saying that: `The healing power had always been in the people themselves and not in the bones.  What had brought the power out was their own belief’.

I read about the second story from a book called `Power of the Subconscious Mind’ by Rev. Dr. Joseph Murphy.  I don’t have a copy of the book with me now, so I’m just telling what I remember reading so many years ago.

Was it Honest or Ethical?: A young man had just gone on a tour of the holy sites in Jerusalem and the region.  His father was critically ill with advance tuberculosis and was said to have ony a few months to live.  The son was devoted to his father and did not want to see him suffer the agonies of the disease.   So he came up with a plan.  He found a small piece of wood and set it in a nice metal frame and told his father:  “I managed to buy this valuable relic when I was on tour in Jerusalem.  The wood is a piece of the original cross on which Jesus was crucified.  It is said that if you keep it with you, it can heal your illness.  The father who was  a staunch believer in Christ, immediately grabbed the wood piece and held it to his chest reverently and never was without it.  The strange thing is that he was cured of his TB and instead of dying in a few months, lived healthily for another 18 years!  Of course the son never told him the truth about the `relic’ – if he had, the father might have suffered a relapse!

What I got from these two stories and the earlier one about Ekalavya, is that it is the power in our own beliefs that enable us to achieve great things or even healings.   The power is NOT in the objects of that belief.   E.g in the first story, Drona was hardly deserving of the reverence he was given as a guru or great teacher.   Similarly the bones of the criminal were not endowed with great powers of healing – neither was the saint’s!   Also it was the son’s blatant `white lie’ that allowed his father to be cured and live to a ripe old age.

This is the point I have been raising all through in this blog from the very first posting.  There is a law of mind that works for everyone and this law is immutable.  “What we focus our thoughts on and believe wholeheartedly is what we create in our reality!” It works for bad as well as good.   If you focus constantly on sickness (talk about it, read about it, think about it) you will get sick!  If you constantly focus on health, refusing to dwell on opposing thoughts, then you can realise health!  If you focus with confidence on achieving your goal, without allowing doubt-thoughts, then you will achieve your goal!

In summary, If you want to make Happy Living Daily a way of life, then you have to dwell on happy thoughts; `change channels’ (Tip #3) whenever your thoughts go morose;  believe that `Man Proposes, God ENDORSES’ – God does not put obstacles in your path just to make you fail and gloat at your misery! The Universe is for you, not against you – the challenges you face are what makes life interesting instead of boring!

• happy living , law of mind
• Comments(0)

gopimenon May 18th, 2009

Hi There,

Are you wondering why a post on `belief’ should appear on this Happy Living blog?  Well in a previous post  `The World According to Gopi’,  I have said that our beliefs create our reality.  To quote from that post:

Our beliefs are built up over the years by the teachings of our parents, elders & teachers;  by age-old superstitions; by peers & friends; by books and the public media.   After a time each one of us forms our own set of beliefs that CONTROL the way we live our life.

Thus it should come as no surprise that Belief has a lot of Power to keep us living happy or miserable!  So the power of belief is very relevant to this blog on Happy Living.

Stories About the Power of Belief:

In this post and the next I will relate 3 stories about the power of belief.   I would like to start with an ancient story in the Hindu classic Mahabarata, that tells of a very inspiring incident that illustrates the point that “The Power of a Belief is in the Belief itself, and not on the Object of the Belief!”

• The Story of Ekalavya: Ekalavya was a poor woodcutter’s son living in the forest, who had a great dream.  He wanted to become expert in the art of using a bow & arrows – he wanted to be as great an archer as  Arjuna, (one of the Pandava Princes).   So he went to see Drona Acharya (Arjuna’s martial arts teacher) and asked to be his disciple.   Drona absolutely refused and arrogantly sent him off, saying that he would only teach  martial arts to Princes and not to a woodcutter!
• But this did not cause Ekalavya to despair!  Instead he went back to his home in the forest and set about making a clay figure of Drona.   Every day he would get the blessings of his guru (the clay figure) believing that it was truly Drona in spirit.   Then he would set about practising his archery until he became really good at it.
• Months later, a team of hunters from the Pandava palace happened to go into this forest.  The hunting dogs went on ahead, barking and making a ruckus.   Soon however, these dogs became quiet suddenly and came whimpering back to the hunters – they noticed that the dogs had their mouths sewn up.   They were shocked and went to see who had the guts to do that to the palace dogs.   They found Ekalavya sitting in meditation.  He had shut the dogs up because they had disturbed his meditation!   This made the hunters from the palace angry and they attacked him – but he repelled them all easily with his wizardy at archery!
• The hunters ran back to the palace and reported to Drona that there was someone in the forest who was an equal to Arjuna in archery.  Drona rushed to the forest to check it out.   Immediately on seeing his `spiritual guru’, Ekalavya prostrated himself before Drona.   Drona studied the situation and because he did not want any woodcutter to be better than his pet student Arjuna, he did the following unthinkable thing.
• He asked Ekalavyan: “Do you really consider me your guru?”   Ekalavyan replied: “Of course, you are my guru.  It is only after getting blessings from you every day that I started my archery practices.”    Then Drona said:  “If what you say is true that I am indeed your guru, don’t you owe me a `guru dakshina’ (a gift from the student for the guru)?”   Ekalavyan replied: “Of course.  What is it you want from me?”   To which Drona replied: “Would you give me your right thumb?”   Immediately Ekalavya cut off his right thumb and gave it to Drona as a gift!
• Drona had hoped that by losing his right thumb, Ekalavya would never be able to take up archery again.   But Ekalavya never gave up and soon he was as great an archer using his left hand as he had been before!

This was one of the most inspiring stories I had heard when I was young:  That one can achieve his dream if he truly believed in in his own ability and persevered in his attempts to achieve it!   However it also made me angry, that a so-called guru (wise master) could be so self-serving and cruel!

That is also when I realized that the `Power of a Belief is NOT in the Object of the Belief, but in the Belief Itself!’ The object of Ekalavya’s belief (i.e. Drona) may not be worthy of his belief, but the power in Ekalavya’s belief helped him to achieve his dream!

• In the next post Power of Belief Part 2, I will discuss two other stories that illustrate the above point further.   Then we will arrive at suitable conclusions about the power of belief.  See you then.

• anger , happy living
• Comments(1)

gopimenon May 11th, 2009

Well Friends,

Here I am again with another useful tip for Happy Living.   I know that at times it is very difficult to feel grateful, when everything seems to be going wrong.  But it is exactly when things don’t seem to be going right that we have to exercise our `gratitude muscles’.

• Let’s take the following worst case scenario of a 30 year old male, say John:   John has just arrived at his office late after struggling through one of the worst traffic jams.   Then he gets the news that he has been retrenched!  He also receives a final notice saying his car will be repossessed within 14 days.  Then there is a call from his credit card company, politely reminding him that he is behind in the monthly payment.  He checks his emails and there is a `Dear John’ letter waiting from his long time girl friend!  What a day!
• Now if at that time I were to tell John to count his blessings, he would be excused for trying to strangle me!

When he calms down I tell him “John, I know you have had a lousy day.  But think about this for a minute.  You can hear me when I talk can’t you (you are not deaf); you can see me (you are not blind);  you can walk over to me and try to strangle me (you are not cripple);  your mental faculties are intact and you are also healthy, aren’t you?   So you are so much better off than the thousands or millions of people who are not as lucky as you!”

“For all you know this retrenchment might be a fabulous chance for you to go after your dreams, rather than struggle daily in a frustrating job.   In a couple of months you would have settled all your outstanding bills and be looking forward to life!  Perhaps you will meet your soulmate, now that you are free of your old girl friend. “

But all these can only happen, if you are in a happy frame of mind.  If you are in a dejected or depressed state,  and go about with a `black cloud hanging over your head’, you will not be able to see or grasp any new opportunities that can come up!   Worrying and complaining will only make you feel worse and you will attract a miserable future – as a self-fulfilling prophecy!   So when things seem the worst, is the best time to start thinking of things to be grateful for.

This is the basis of today’s Happy Living Tip.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Happy Living Tip #4:  Start a Daily Gratitude Diary!

Just get any exercise book, note down today’s date and start writing down at least 5 things you are grateful for today.

_____________________________________________________________________________

UNDERLYING PRINCIPLES:

One of the best explanations I have read about gratitude and its power is by Wallace D. Wattles in his classic The Science Of Getting Rich (SOGR) written about a century ago!  You can download a free copy of his book by clicking on the above link.   He devotes one whole chapter to this topic of Gratitude – Chapter 7.   Some of the highlights are given below:

• There is a law of gratitude, and it is absolutely necessary that you should observe the law if you are to get the results you seek.  It is the natural principle that action and reaction are always equal and in opposite directions.
• The grateful outreaching of your mind in thankful praise to the Supreme Intelligence is a liberation or expenditure of force.  It cannot fail to reach that to which it is addressed and the reaction is an instantaneous movement towards you!
• But the value of gratitude does not consist solely of getting you more blessings in the future.  Without gratitude you cannot keep from dissatisfied thought regrading things as they are. To permit your mind to dwell on the inferior is to surround yourself with inferior things.
  
• The grateful mind is constantly fixed on the best.  Therefore it tends to become the best.  It takes the character and form of the best and so will receive the best!
• Also faith is born of gratitude.  The grateful mind continually expects good things and expectation becomes faith!
  

PRACTICAL APPLICATION:

Initially you may struggle with it, but soon you will find that you have more than 5 things you are grateful for.   It is just a matter of changing our habit of looking for faults and begin the the habit of looking for things to be grateful for, to be happy about.

When you begin writing, start out with simple things, such as:

1. I am grateful that I woke up this morning;
2. I am grateful that I live with my family;
3. I am grateful that I have a job to go to;
4. I am grateful for my good health;
5. etc. etc.

Soon you will be on a roll and can come up with more than 5 things to be grateful for.

In closing, remember to start your own Daily Gratitude Diary or Journal, TODAY!.   Make a habit of it and see how things start improving for you!

• happy living , pursuit of happiness
• Comments(0)

gopimenon May 8th, 2009

Hello again!

What is Happiness?  Perhaps this question should have been in the very first post on this blog!   But `happiness’ is not easily defined.  Each person or group seem to have their own version of happiness – which includes pleasure, contentment, joy, having money, finding your mate, success, achievement etc. etc.

Even when I google `happiness’, I get so many different definitions for happiness that it makes my head spin.  Moreover none seems satisfactory or complete – does not make me Happy!  Ha..Ha.  So I am coming up with my own definition of Happiness which I hope is more satisfactory and complete.

By the way, the world map shown here indicates the `Satisfaction With Life Index’ around the world.  If your country happens to be in the Green area, you are the happiest and if in the Red area, you are among the unhappiest!  But that does not give you an excuse to say `I can’t help it, I’m unhappy because I’m in the Red zone!’  Read on and see how you can create your own happiness – whether you are in the red, pink, or green zones!

Gopi’s Definition of Happiness:

Happiness is a state of mind when we FEEL GOOD – whether it is because of sensory pleasures,  intellectual pleasures or spiritual pleasures!

• Sensory Pleasures: Those related to our 5 senses e.g. Seeing a beautiful sunset, hearing a melodious song, eating a favorite meal/enjoying a drink, smelling a wonderful perfume, physical intimacy with a loved one etc.
• Intellectual Pleasures: Those related to our intellect e.g. Reading a good book, remembering something pleasant, planning a dream goal, writing a book, etc.
• Spiritual Pleasures: Those related to doing something altruistic (helping orphans, the aged), contributing to the world (monetary gifts, wisdom, cheer, inspiration etc.)

In the examples above, although each one of us acts in ways that may seem so different, the final motivation to action is `to feel good’ – whatever that means to each one of us!   This is what I meant in an earlier post when I said `We are all programmed for happiness!’.   This of course refers to the vast majority of human beings who are considered `normal’.

NOTE: The next paragraph is about the negative aspect of happiness and does not really deserve a place in this blog on Happy Living, but in the interest of completeness, I am adding it.  The reader is at liberty to ignore this paragraph and go on to the next part on `genuine happiness’.

*******************************************************************

While the vast majority of people can be considered `normal’, however there are some whose idea of feeling good is a little perverted.  People such as:

• Sadists: who feel good to see others in pain or suffering
• Vengeful Types: who feel good when others get their `just desserts’
• Extremists: who believe that by killing others they will get to feel good (find happiness) in the `after life’
• Martyrs: who believe that by killing themselves they will get to feel good (find happiness) in the `after life’
• Suicide Bombers: a mixture of both extremist & martyr mentality.
• Dictator: one who feels good only when everybody else feeds his ego by being servile, and never dare to cross him!
• Etc.

My point in listing these negative examples is just to show that even in these extreme cases, the persons are all taking action to feel good within themselves.

On a lesser level the alcoholic, the smoker and the drug addict are all also taking action to feel good, namely to be happy!

As I said before, we are all programmed to do what will make us happy, but our bodies are also built to adapt.   For example when someone first tries to smoke, the body will react instantly to repel the smoke by coughing and choking because it definitely does not feel good!   However if we insist on smoking, gradually the body adapts to the smoke – and even learns to like it and we become addicted to it.  Ditto for alcohol and drugs.  Ditto for all the perversions that people get addicted to.

Okay!  That is enough of the negative aspects.   Continue Reading »

• happiness , happy living , law of mind
• Comments(1)