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gopimenon January 4th, 2010

Hi There,

Today I would like to follow-up on last week’s topic ‘Not Putting Labels on People’ – which was all about learning to have ‘empathy’ for others.   Empathy is not the same as ‘sympathy’ which merely means to feel sorry for others!  Empathy means to be able to feel what others feel – to put ourselves in their position.

We can find many proverbs and sayings on various aspects of this subject ‘empathy’ such as:

• “Don’t judge a person until you walk a mile in the other person’s shoes!” – i.e.  See things from the other person’s perspective.
• “I was blue because I had no shoes, until I met a man on the street who had no feet!” - Learn to be grateful for what we have.
• “Live and let live!” – Live well but at the same time ensure that you let others live well too because they too are humans and deserve it!  (Unfortunately some people follow the adage ‘Live & Let Die!‘ thereby causing untold misery to others and to themselves too.)
• Etc.

But the phrase that has always struck a chord within me is one from the Bible which goes like this:

• “There, but for the Grace of God, Go I!”

It talks to me most strongly about ‘empathy’ – the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s situation.   But it is much more than that.  It also speaks to me of gratitude and humility.  In case you are not aware of what this phrase means, let me elaborate.

What it means to me is simply this:

If I see say a beggar, or a blind man, or a cripple on the street, I realize that if circumstances had been different, perhaps I could have been in their shoes!  Thus if I am sighted, able-bodied, and in a comfortable position financially now, it is merely because of the grace of God that I am not in the other’s plight.   Realizing this makes me exceedingly grateful and humble!  It also helps me to be kind to the other!

The other person need not be physically challenged for me to apply this phrase.  Even if I see a waiter, or a cleaner or a maid, I can still think about this and be grateful because I know that I could have been in their situation, but for Divine grace.  So I am always courteous to them – because I know they too are human, just like me and should not be treated as less than human!

Whenever I hear of people in positions of power, mistreating those less fortunate, I think about this phrase. If only these people would realize the true meaning of this phrase, they would not mistreat or condemn or judge others as they do now!

Unfortunately, I see many people going about acting boorishly  everywhere (in a restaurant, in the office, on the road, at home, etc.);  they look down upon others and treat them badly – without common courtesy.

Many people are arrogant about their position, their wealth or their health, not realizing that any of these could be taken from them in the blink of an eye – by an accident, by disease, by criminals etc.

In fact if you look at what happened in 2009 – some of those sacrosanct institutions (such as banks, insurance, huge conglomerates etc.) just went bust overnight!   Millions lost their means of livelihood, many lost their homes, and so on.

So now what happens to their arrogance and pride?   Who do they go to for help?  To those whom they have antagonized by their selfish, inconsiderate behavior?  On what grounds?

That is why we should realize that when we are in a comfortable position, we should be KIND to those in less fortunate positions! It is also the way to be happy in our relationship with others! If we continue to ‘distribute’ misery to others, how can we expect to remain happy?

This is why I place so much emphasis on this phrase as a means to Happy Living. Please remember: “There, but for the Grace of God, Go I!”

Expect Happiness!

• gratitude , happiness , happy living , unhappiness
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