Keeping Happy When Things Go ‘Wrong’!
gopimenon February 28th, 2010
Hi There,
Today’s post is all about how I had to really use most of the Happy Living Tips from this blog to stay happy in spite of circumstances! It also explains why I was unable to add any new post in the past 3 weeks.
The past three weeks have been really ‘eventful’ – not necessarily in the best possible way! Here’s a little breakdown of all the little ‘challenges’ (better word than ‘problems’) that came up – in no chronological order:
- My computer crashed! It chose the worst time of the year to do so – during the Chinese New Year festival! In Malaysia that means for at least one week there will be NO computer shops open to carry out repairs on my Laptop Computer. Hence no Internet access, no updating of blogs, no emails, no online marketing campaigns!
- My health crashed! I was down with a flu whole of last week – just recovered but still have congested chest and coughing spasms.
- My 6 year old car with manual transmission – the clutch started slipping whenever I changed gears! Have to replace the clutch pad and the seals – can cost several hundred Ringgit!
In addition there was some bereavement issues to deal with:
- My brother-in-law passed away on Valentines day.
- A wonderful couple – close friends of mine, lost their son to cancer – the boy was only 15!
So how and what exactly did I do to keep my Daily Happy Living principles intact?
First the bereavement issues:
Untimely Death: I can only imagine how devastated my friends would be at the loss of their son at such an early age. So now their family of four is down to just three – one daughter. But I admire how they cope with their loss!
When I arrived at the church in Kuala Lumpur for the funeral, I was surprised to see an unexpectedly large number of cars parked in the compound. I went to the main building and a wedding was in progress! I asked about the boy’s funeral and I was told that it would be held at a small chapel at the back. Talk about ‘how life does go on!’ A wedding in front, a funeral at the back!
I went to the chapel and I was impressed that my friends had put up a large ‘happy’ montage of photos on a wall. This showed all the good times they had with their son – the picnics, the holidays, the brother-sister relationships, places they had visited as a family etc. Unlike most funerals where they would just be mourning, here they wanted to celebrate their son’s life – for the joy he had given them in his short span of 15 years on earth.
I paid my condolences to the Father and the Daughter who were present. I asked about the Mother, thinking that she must have been too distraught to be there to receive the visitors, but was told that she was busy writing the eulogy for the ceremony! Imagine that! But this couple have always been special – from the time I met them about 7 years ago as my sponsors in a nutrition company, they have always showed a rare kind of steadfastness and strength.
This steadfastness showed when their son was first diagnosed with a brain tumor about 6 years ago. They still went about their work enthusiastically while giving the boy wonderful care! This care ensured that their son only spent brief spells in the hospital for the therapy but most of the time he was out running around and playing as any normal boy. He grew up to be a strapping 6-footer and no one would have believed that he had cancer. So he was actively involved in living and not moping! Even in the end the boy passed away in his sleep at home – not in hospital!
What touched me most about this wonderful couple’s attitude, was that even in spite of this huge bereavement, they still remembered to send me an sms greeting for my birthday on February 15, as they had done every year – except that this year there were only 3 names at the end of the message instead of the usual 4!
My friends are the best proof that Daily Happy Living can be a reality – no matter what the external circumstances.
My Brother-in -law: I was informed by my niece that her father had been admitted to a hospital in KL on Thursday February 11, for an endoscopy to be performed the next morning. My brother-in-law was in his late seventies and had been going in and out of hospitals for the past few years, so it was not unexpected.
But somehow I felt that I had to make a trip to visit him that day itself. I chose to go at night – to avoid the notorious KL traffic. He was delighted to see my wife and me, since my niece (his only child) had told him not to expect visitors during a workday. We had a good chat and left.
The next morning when I called to ask about the endoscopy, I was told that they could not perform the examination because he had taken a turn for the worst in the morning. He was comatose and placed on a ventilator. He never recovered consciousness and passed away on Valentine’s Day!
When people pass away at a ripe old age having lived a full life, it does not feel so tragic – it may even be a relief for the person, an end to physical suffering. To me, since I think of life as a school or place of learning, where we spend some time to learn and experiment and enjoy, I consider death to be just a promotion to college or an university or the next level of our evolution.
So death does not frighten me because I believe that the Supreme Power that gifted us with this life on this wonderful planet is Benevolent, and can only have something even more exciting for us to experience in the next phase of our growth!
Computer Crash: The first thing I did when my computer crashed on Friday 12 February was to decide to keep a happy disposition. I said to myself “I guess I really need a vacation from the internet and the hours of surfing and the struggling with internet marketing!” “Also now I have time to visit my relative in hospital.” “This would be a good time to re-evaluate my blogging goals and my internet marketing goals, and make detailed plans of action!”
Such thoughts kept me in a good frame of mind and so I ventured to call my regular computer man – even though he was Chinese and so may not be working. To my surprise he was in (it seems his father had passed away several months ago and so they were not celebrating CNY). So I took the laptop in for him to check and repair on Saturday 13 February.
Now an interesting twist – since my birthday was just 2 days away and my sons had decided to get me a good wristwatch for me, I told them I would rather prefer my laptop repaired and got a new printer instead. They were feeling generous and said that instead of repairing the old laptop, they would buy me a new one as a birthday present instead.
When I checked with my computer guy a few days later, and told him what my sons had said, I was told that he had been able to repair all the problems and there was no need to buy a new one!
Anyhow the end result of that computer ‘challenge’ is that I now have a new printer and a repaired laptop that works faster. Turned out to be a win-win-win situation! My sons win because they only had to spend 50% of their original budget, my computer man wins because I bought a printer from him! And of course I win too. I really believe that when we practice being happy by choice, things turn up to make us happier still!
This post is getting too long. To be continued soon.
Cheers! Expect Happiness!
- bereavement , happy living , unhappiness
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