5 Reasons You Should Not Marry for Money

Upset woman thinking about relationship problems and lover indifference
Source: Gettyimages

In this article:

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

You’ve probably heard the old saying that love doesn’t pay the bills. And sure, financial stability is important in a marriage. But tying the knot solely for money and status can leave you feeling empty inside. Take it from someone who’s been there. I married for money and deeply regretted it later. The big house and fancy cars weren’t worth the loneliness and resentment. If you’re considering getting hitched just for the cash, here are five reasons you should think twice. This isn’t the fairy tale ending you’ve been hoping for.

1. Marrying for Money Can Lead to Resentment

  • You may come to resent your spouse: If you marry someone primarily for their bank account, you’re bound to become resentful over time. Sure, the money and lavish lifestyle might seem appealing now, but deep down you’ll know the relationship lacks true intimacy and connection. This resentment can fester and ultimately destroy the relationship.
  • The money may disappear: There’s no guarantee the wealth will last forever. Bad investments happen, companies go under, and inheritances aren’t always promised. If the money’s gone, you could be stuck in a loveless marriage with no way out. Be very wary of marrying for money alone.
  • You’ll wonder if they really love you: When you marry for money, there will always be a nagging doubt in the back of your mind as to whether your spouse truly loves you for who you are – or just for what you represent. This insecurity and paranoia can plague the relationship and cause irreparable harm.
  • Your values and life goals may differ greatly: The ultra-wealthy often lead very different lives than the average person. Their values, experiences, and life goals can differ greatly from your own. Over time, this gap may become difficult to bridge and lead to increasing conflict and disconnection in the relationship.

2. You May Struggle With Trust Issues

So you’ve married for money and security. That’s all well and good until you realize you have trouble trusting your spouse. Maybe they lavish you with expensive gifts to make up for not being emotionally present. Or perhaps their long work hours make you wonder if they’re really where they say they are.

  • Secrets and Lies: When money is the foundation of a relationship, honesty and trust often take a backseat. Your spouse may hide financial information or assets from you to maintain control. They could lie about where they’ve been or who they’re with to avoid questions or arguments. These little white lies and secrets chip away at the trust in your marriage over time.
  • Feeling Like a Possession: Rather than an equal partner, you may feel like just another asset in your spouse’s collection. They call the shots and make important life decisions without your input or regard for your feelings. This imbalance of power and lack of respect leads to resentment, damaging your ability to trust that your needs and happiness matter to them.
  • Emotional Distance: People who marry for money tend to lack a genuine emotional and physical connection. Your spouse may not share details of their life or express affection and intimacy. They’re unable to be fully present and offer you their emotional support when you need it most. This distance and lack of vulnerability make it nearly impossible to build trust in the relationship.

3. Your Values and Priorities Will Be Misaligned

Marrying for money often means marrying someone with vastly different values and priorities than your own. You may care deeply about experiences, relationships, and personal growth, while your spouse prioritizes status, material excess, and power over connection. This misalignment can lead to resentment, conflict, and a lack of true partnership.

Over time, you may find that your spouse’s lavish spending and obsession with wealth leaves little room for the things that really matter to you. The fancy dinners, extravagant vacations and luxury cars may seem exciting at first, but they ring hollow without meaningful bonding and shared life goals to connect you. You’ll crave depth and purpose while your spouse remains focused on superficial measures of success.

Don’t be surprised if your spouse expects you to put their ego, image, and social status first. Their sense of self-worth is tied to displays of wealth, and your role is to enable that. But a healthy relationship is a two-way street based on mutual understanding, compromise, and respect. Marrying for money often means relinquishing your own needs and values to serve someone else’s.

In the end, no amount of money can make up for a lack of genuine partnership and intimacy in a marriage. While financial security is important, shared values, emotional support, trust, and personal growth are the pillars of a strong, long-lasting union. If you want a soul-deep connection with your life partner, look for someone with whom you share life’s most meaningful riches. Marrying for money alone often leads to a poverty of the heart.

4. It Can Strain Your Relationship With Friends and Family

Marrying for money often means marrying someone your friends and family may not approve of or connect with. When you choose a partner primarily for their bank account, you’re selecting someone who likely has a very different background and set of life experiences than you and the people closest to you. This can drive a wedge between you and your loved ones.

Your family and friends want the best for you, but they also want you to find someone you genuinely care for and connect with on a deeper level. If they feel you’re settling for a loveless relationship just to gain financial security, it can damage your bond and cause hurt feelings on both sides. Their disapproval may put strain on your interactions and time spent together.

  • Jealousy and resentment: Some of your family and friends may feel jealous of your new lavish lifestyle and material possessions, breeding resentment in your relationships. They see you gaining access to expensive homes, vacations and gifts not through hard work or merit but through marriage. This jealousy can fester and damage your connection over time.
  • Lack of shared interests: The vast differences in backgrounds and life experiences between you, your spouse and your family/friends may make it difficult to find common ground. Without shared interests, values and conversations, get-togethers can feel awkward, strained and superficial. Your loved ones may feel like outsiders at family events and celebrations, unable to fully connect with your new spouse.

While marrying for money may seem appealing in the short term, consider the potential long-term impact on your closest relationships. The strain and damage caused could end up costing you more than any amount of money. Choosing a life partner is an enormously important decision, and your happiness depends so much on the love and support of friends and family. Make sure not to sacrifice that for material gain.

5. You May Sacrifice Personal Fulfillment and Happiness

Marrying for money often means sacrificing your own personal happiness and fulfillment. When you base such an important life decision primarily on wealth and financial security, you risk ignoring whether or not you and your partner share core values and life goals. A lack of emotional and intellectual compatibility will likely lead to feelings of resentment, loneliness and unfulfillment in the long run.

Money itself does not buy happiness or fill the need for purpose and meaning in life. While financial security is important, a marriage devoid of real intimacy and partnership will still feel empty. When you marry chiefly for money and status, you and your spouse may struggle to build a genuine emotional and spiritual connection. Your relationship risks becoming a business partnership rather than a loving union.

Over time, initial feelings of excitement over lavish gifts, fancy homes and exotic vacations will fade. The superficial trappings of wealth will lose their appeal if you and your partner lack a solid foundation of shared interests, values and life goals to build upon. Rather than appreciating your spouse for who they are, you may come to see them more as a means to an end – a way to fund a lifestyle or maintain a certain image. This commodification of your partner will seriously damage your relationship in the long run.

While financial stability is important, a successful marriage is based on mutual understanding, respect, trust and shared purpose with your partner. These deeper bonds simply cannot be bought or traded for money and status. If you want a truly fulfilling partnership, look for a spouse with whom you share real emotional and intellectual chemistry. Base your choice on the content of their character, not the contents of their wallet. Choose a partner you can build a life with, not just collect a lifestyle from. In the end, that is the only way to find true happiness and purpose in marriage.

related post